Writing decent, non-repetitive fight scenes - help, please

This is, strangely, a re-structuring of advice I've given to people about sex scenes, but I think it applies. The main thing I hate about most sex scenes is that it tends to end up just how you described: a laundry list of who did what.

1. Don't just describe *what* happened. As you said, "He did this, she did that" can get old fast.

2. First, anchor the fight in the feelings, thoughts, plans, and expectations of one of your characters. For example, having him expect that his tactic is going to completely wipe out the opponent will make it much more intense and shocking when it doesn't work. Also, have them reflect on "death" and any near hits that might have caused it.

3. Describe stuff going on outside of the fight that intrudes. Perhaps a shout from the crowd (if there is one) could distract one of the players, and that could turn the tide for the other team. Also, in the description of the fight, you could use things like "a flash of silver hit his peripheral vision - he spun to block the knife", instead of just saying that the other player tried to get him on the left side or something.

But really, the main thing I'd suggest is to go with the feelings/sensations of the main character of the scene. That will mean having him not know everything the others are doing, but will make it more immediate and real to the reader.

Banner by August. Thank you!
Don't write badly, write madly

Depending on how you want to go with the actual fight scenes, you might have a lot of build up with the opponents sizing each other up and posturing and only a very brief burst of actual violence (this is how I tend to write fights). If you go that way, then you can stick to a fairly clinical description because it'll only happen once.

Otherwise, everything RavenCorbie says is true. And it's a good idea to think of it before you find you've lost track of who's who in a fight. ;-)

Thanks, these both help a ton. :) I appreciate it.

My NaNo might involve a few fight scenes. I'm not sure yet, as I was only struck by the idea today. But most of my past works of fiction have involved some butt-kicking. And they've been rather flat thus far, sadly. So thanks for the above tips, hopefully I'll remember them if the time comes for me to construct my own fight scene. (:

the above comments are great. i just have a few things to add:

1. add in some other sensory elements. how does your opponent smell when he gets close? what does the blood trickling into your mouth taste like? what do your teammate's feet sound like as they move across the ground? that helps pop your flat "he did this she did that" scene into 3-d.

2. add some verbal sparring. i don't know if this will work with your particular characters and the rules of your game, but my characters have never been able to keep their mouths shut while fighting. characters who talk smack can up the interest of the scene.

3. have the environment play a part. are they fighting in the rain? in an indoor arena? in the heat? on a moving ship? on horseback? in the forest? are there spectators? do innocents get involved? if each of your fights utilizes different environmental elements, it can keep your readers (and your) interest throughout multiple fights.

4. don't be afraid to talk about gore. i wouldn't recommend talking about gore only, but don't shy away from some blood and guts where necessary.

i hope that's helpful!

//thoughts//

the_irish_one

"wow. you can turn it on and off. being ADD i mean."

I’m not sure what type of fight scene you’re talking about exactly, but I generally try and find other ways to write it than with straight forward hack and slash statements. Here’s one possibility for a story with swords/shields/bows
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They waited another day. Gabric swore that if he made it through this alive, he’d live in a city, a town, or even a cave, but never, ever, go near the dense forest again. There was mumbling off to the side. Someone obviously praying. A wise move at a time like this. For the first time, Gabric was annoyed that he didn’t believe in any particular god.

Irritated by the other soldier’s continued prayers, he kicked his fellow brown clad soldier and ordered him to be silent. He wasn’t going to die today because of someone advertised their position. Absently, he wondered how long it would be until they were finally relieved. How long until he could have a hot meal again.

Quite suddenly there was a noise. All fatigue was forgotten as every soldier tensed, straining to hear what was out there. Then they heard it again.

“Here they come,” the same fool whispered unnecessarily.

The swordsmen passed first, but they waited. Swordsmen could be dealt with, but leaving archers free to run for cover was a mistake no soldier made twice.

The first archers entered their sights. Bows twanged and archers fell. Then another arrow and another archer dead.

“Now!” their commander shouted as the swordsmen rounded back onto them.

Dropping his bow, Gabric ran forward, ignoring the fear that cursed through him.

One lunged at him, but he took the strike on his shield, pushed it out of the way and drove his own sword into the poor man's chest. There was another man with a sword, and Gabric was forced to dodge and slash at the man’s knees- combat was not the beautiful romance written in books and poetry.

Then Gabric found himself in the midst of chaos. Everywhere around him swords flashed into shields, or were dodged and parried. A power blow crashed against his shield, nearly destroying it and stunning Gabric for a moment. Another strike came towards him, but was intercepted by his neighbor. Not wasting time, he launched a counter attack and slashed at the man’s unprotected flank. The surrounding chaos prevented him from knowing if he'd taking the man down permanently.

Several soldiers encircled around him as Gabric redoubled his effort. They managed to cut a path through the enemy, but not before at least one fell at his side. The blood-spattered body was left behind as they continued to fight.

One thing to avoid when narrating fight scenes is getting too technical. The "he does this, she does that" problem often arises when an author is trying to describe the fight in a technical fashion, with appropriate terminology/jargon. This is actually something to generally avoid unless, as a matter of characterization, you WANT to emphasize the two characters as specifically being technically-correct fighters/duelists. In the majority of cases, however, that characterization is not applicable to either character.

The second thing to keep in mind with writing good fight scenes is that fights are typically short. Brutally short. Very often, and contrary to the usual clliches here, two expert fighters facing off will see one or the other of them vanquished far quicker than a similar fight involving two novice fighters. Both movies and certain roleplaying games have sold us on the idea of long, drawn-out fight scenes, but that idea does not necessarily connect with reality.

Sure, there are going to be times where you might want a long, drawn-out fight scene for story purposes...but that may be a one- or two-times max event in a story. Other fights should be kept much shorter, particularly if the fight itself has little impact on the story. In truth, watching a couple swashbuckler films really illustrates this, as you will generally not see more than one (sometimes two) sustained duels between characters in the course of the entire film (though you might see a lot of much briefer action).

The last thing to constantly remind yourself is that a fight is not the story itself, but only one element that contributes to the development of the story. Consequently, the pacing and relative "detail" of the fight should always be dependent on the needs of story advancement. If a certain fight does very little to actually advance the story, then it should be kept brief and probably light on the detail. If a certain fight (generally at a story climax) is absolutely integral to the story, then it should receive a lot more focus, "time"/words, and attention. If you keep this last in mind, you should only rarely run into situations of fights within a single story getting repetitious, simply because the roles that each fight play in terms of story advancement are typically very different from each other.

Frank the Wanderer

Do what i do. BRING IN NEW FACTORS. Don't keep it between two people, or five; kill someone, bring someone back in, bring someone new in, lose weapons, gain weapons, make the roof fall in, you get the gist.
I especially love it when authors exhaust a character to the point of barely being able to keep themselves upright, let alone standing against a foe. Change things around, don't restrict yourself.
Frankie

"Right, because roadkill is totally the best way to distract a Tyrannosaurus Rex." - Jocasta

Mixing it up is a good idea, but for short scenes, it will be fine to keep it in limited scope. In the primary duel(s), doing the same moves over and over again is not a good idea. The only time it is recommended is when earlier in the story, the character does a particular move that stands out, then in the finale, they replicate it. One such example is in the movie First Knight. Lancelot does this really cool disarm move to win a fight during the opening scene, then in the final duel he does it against Malagant. But try to avoid doing the same move twice in the same duel.

One thing that I have only seen done on The Princess Bride, and the recent Peter Pan is the use of the left-hand. You just don't see that often, and being a south-paw, it drives me nuts to see only righties in movies. It can really throw off a fencer/fighter when they draw a lefty, because they are dealing with a mirror image rather than your typical right vs right face-off. The offensive target is the same, but the opponent's blade is on the wrong side for what the fencer is used to. A lefty will often target the closest shoulder or the closer, exposed flank, something a righty is not used to being threatened. The defensive parries are backwards and can be awkward. But to a left, this is normal so they have the advantage. What REALLY makes things interesting is when a lefty faces a lefty. And being a fencer in an area with only two lefties (myself included), it really gets interesting. And during this semester, I am learning how to fence right-handed so I will have the experience of using either hand.

The problem I have with writing duels is that I always think left-handed, and I have to be careful because most of my characters are right handed, so when I describe certain moves, I have to step by step act it out to see what it would look like. And speaking of that, if you are doing a sword fight, something to try out is to find a sparing buddy and try to act out a fight. Doing this will give you a clear picture of what is practical and realistic, and it will give you a few other ideas on what to include in it.

One very helpful thing someone once told me about a fight scene is that, don't write it like you're viewing it through a camera lens. You aren't watching a movie so don't write down every single thing that's going on. Be vague. Be subtle. Keep it short.

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Bloodcider's Blag

If you have a collection of DVDs or you can just go and download a supply of action video clips.

Skip the story and speed through to the scenes that are the fight and action scenes.

Watch a scene and then use a scrap book of paper and write down how you would describe what occured.

Do this at least ten times watching different scenes and then writing down what occurred in the fight.

This practice should help you realize how many ways fights, punches, and other things can occur.

Next, get with a friend that does some form of fighting like a martial arts, boxing, fencing, or even a sport like football. Talk with them and listen to them describe their actions in the sport and the names that they use to describe various moves. Take notes and listen to how the person describes these things.

Now go back and do ten more clips and again practice with writing ten more synopsis of the action bits.

You should see a change in your writing as you now appreciate more of what is occuring.

A good way to make sure that fight scenes dont seem to be "what, another fight scene?" is to make sure that each scene has it's own reason to be and is no longer than it needs to be. I also reccomend having some sort of trick so it's clear why the winners won, not just a "we fought, they won" thing, you actually need a trick, unless one side is clearly more skilled.

I'd suggest reading some Clive Cussler, as even in his "battle happy" books, he manages to keep everything fresh. Most of this is by attention to a different set of details in each battle. Sure, the same character is in each one, but in the first, the moves are described... second, the monologue is in the characters head... third, the sensory occurances are focused on mostly... and so on.

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2006: The Zaqqum Tree (Victory is Mine!)

I'd also go with... make it kinky or awkward.

For sex scenes, I always feel like, if I'm going to describe it (as opposed to just indicate that it happened), there better be a gosh darned good reason - otherwise I'm just writing fanfic. So, what's happening that is furthering the plot in this sex scene?

Same goes for fight scenes - make something crazy happen. Not just punch-punch-punch, but a little grab-the-hot-iron-and-BLAMMO or Oh-my-God-Kool-Aid-powder-in-the-eyes-it-burns-AAARGH type stuff.

That's actually pretty interesting. The local library doesn't have much on writing fight scenes. But it has a few books on writing sex scenes, and I might actually take a look at those books now. lol

That works. Plus sex and violence typically come from the same place--those base instincts. I never thought about looking at them the same in writing though. Thanks for the advice.

The only fight scene I've read that I can really remember came from the novelization of Episode 3. It was I think the first major action sequence with obi wan in it.

You can choose where the fights are and what the weapons are. It doesn't need to be a gladatorial ring with one weapon. Have each fight take place in a different (big, varied, prop rich) locations and with different weapons. Don't have each team fling themselves at each other in a big empty room -- have an element of suspense, search, chase, surprise. If the teams fight together, give them all different weapons and a different role in the battle. Have their personalities come through. Have some conflict within the team as well as between them.

And you absolutely HAVE to have Leeroy Jenkins.

There are some fight cliches that seem to never wear out:

- Somebody has their weapon knocked out of their hand but still wins eventually
- Weapons that break in two
- Playing dead then lashing out when your opponent comes to examine the body
- A broom, saucepan or other improvised weapon beats a real one

Are the clothes left behind when the body disappears? If so, set a trap where one of the players strips off, leaves the clothes in a pile. Opponent assumes they have won -- then the opponents attack.

They don't really die but do they experience real injury and pain?

First time NaNo. If I sound like I know what I'm doing, don't be fooled...

RavenCorbie, that's some excellent advice, by the way.

For me, I think the pacing of it is what makes it. Sometimes, a little "Bob swung and missed, Joe countered" is okay if you need it fast-paced. The pacing of the game in your setting would likely dictate the way you right it. If the combats are more strategic and plotting, slow it down with the advice give above so eloquently already. But also, don't be afraid of a little bit of repetition to create a rhythm to the writing (and hence to the combat).

Another fact of writing it is all about how the character perceives the violence they are doing. For instance, my MC (I'll be NaNo-ing a sequel) has a personality quirk where he always knows precisely what time it is. He generally finds it to be an annoying buzz in the back of his head, but during a particularly graphic combat scene in the first book, I used that device to dehumanize the violence. Something along the lines of, "four-point-two seconds later, Person X died, followed by Person Y one-point-eight seconds after that." It comes off a little contrived out-of-context, now that I look at it, but for me it was the character detaching from the intense human emotion of taking a life. Play with ideas that fit your MC and see if that helps with the narrative.