What's Your Romance Novel Pet Peeve?

I have the same pet peeve in romance novels that I do in any other genre. I hate when the author just throws as much crap as they can at the character until the point you're wondering why they even bother anymore until finally at the climax the hero overcomes all and life's a giant green M&M. Like...really? I hate it when I read a writing book that says to do that. I hate that. Characters are people, too, and they sometimes just need life to cut them some slack.

(Even though, okay, I admit that for the first 3-5 chapters of my NaNo novel this year, I will be flinging one crap storm after another at my characters, but after that I'm done and then they have the whole rest of the book to get over it. And they get a kitty :D)

NaNoWriMo 2008: The Fated Children
NaNoWriMo 2007: Karina — WINNER! (51K)
NaNoWriMo 2006: A Raven's Song — Miserable failure. We don't talk about it.

I can't stand rapist heroes and rape->love stories. I understand that some people have rape fantasies and want their heroes to be a bit sadistic, but I wish the things came with a warning label so I could avoid them.

And this is more of a minor but long-standing annoyance - why do so darn many romance novels have people getting killed or tortured? o.O If I wanted to read about depressing, scary, and gross stuff I would read the news. I need romance novels to cheer me up and shore up my idealism and faith that there will be a happy ending.

For me, it's extreme alpha male aggression (general cockiness, "punishing kisses," he-man bullying, etc.), particularly as paired with a really weak heroine (a quivering virgin or a woman who believes she's totally worthless in bed and/or has to act a certain way to get people to like her even if it's contrary to her nature).

Pairings of two people who hate each other at the novel's outside but eventually fall in love can work, but a lot of times the author throws too much conflict and betrayal at them for it to be believable that they can even stand to be in the same room. (Susan Elizabeth Phillips' novel Ain't She Sweet? comes to mind. In that novel, the heroine so betrayed the hero -- got him fired for a job, made him out to be a pedophile -- before the action of the novel starts that it was completely unbelievable to me that the hero would ever forgive the heroine, let alone fall in love and be all mooney-eyed over her by the end of the novel.)

And I hate The Big Misunderstanding that spurs all the action of the novel when it's an understanding that could have been cleared up with a four-sentence conversation.

~Erin
New York City Municipal Liaison
Moderator of Romance and Writing 101
Slightly Crazy
See also the (seldom updated) fshk blog

For me, it's mostly the sappy cliches and totally unbelievable romances. You see a lot of this in chick-flicks and chick-lit, and it bothers me. Along with books like Twilight, the romance sometimes seems a little too ooey-gooey. Not totally unbelievable, but almost.

I also hate 'insta-couples' as you call them (rather genius term, by the way. :P). I mean, who sees someone and is like "Oh my gosh, I'm in such a deep, passionate love!"? I mean, you just SAW the person! You haven't even talked to them! Goodness. That just bugs the crap out of me.

And those overly sexual relationships. Can that really be healthy to feel that way all the time? It makes me feel dirty. But what I mostly hate are stupid teenage sexual relationship stories. There are far too many of them and I think it effects many teenagers nowadays. No wonder why teen pregnancies have increased lately. Meh.

Thank you, I try.

Something I learned from watching a lot of magical girl anime (namely Shugo Chara for this), that we tend to love on sight because of something we find physically attractive and dream of that person being the most romantic person ever. Why I hate insta-couples is because after some time, you realize that that ideal image of them is not the reality.

And let's face it... reality bites....

that's why we write.

Maria, plagued with retinitis pigmentosa, is an artist under the iron fist of her money hungry father. Raver, plagued with the death of the people he loved, is a guardian hellbent on protecting those he loves. When Raver takes Maria's disease and family s

Some of my pet peeves are when they have overall perfect characters to seem to be almost completely flawless as if they are some type of god who lives on earth etc.

When the love story is oh so perfect like they were meant to be together for ever soul mate stuff.
I mean I understand them having many other people before or after it's just no relationship can be that
perfect to the brisk point of no argument.

another is when they spend so much time on discribingthe character and how gorgeous they are the author never tells us the setting of the place they are going to.

there is most likely more, but I can't think of them right now xD

The Big Misunderstanding is my pet peeve, too! (I agree with you about the other things you mentioned, but The Big Misunderstanding is the biggie for me.) I hate hate hate when half the conflict in the book could have been either resolved or completely avoided if one of the MCs had asked the obvious question(s) that any adult person with half a brain cell and a set of vocal cords would have thought to ask. Yes, real misunderstandings that interfere seriously with relationships do happen, but I can't stand it when it's the result of a very contrived and unnatural lack of communication. If you have to force the misunderstanding, then your plot has a problem!

Burgerlicious

NaNo 2007: An Autumn Sacrifice (Winner! Yay!)
NaNo 2008: Towers of Silence

I guess this is why I initially had a hard time even defining my novel concept as a romance. Because the romance is definitely the driving force of the plot... which clearly screams, "This novel is going to be a romance!" but because there is no idealized love (or lust) object in the story, I felt like it didn't really fit. I couldn't put my finger on it till I read your post.

Burgerlicious

NaNo 2007: An Autumn Sacrifice (Winner! Yay!)
NaNo 2008: Towers of Silence

I personally love the highly sexually-charged relationships as long as they are also romantic and the characters are over 18. But I think it's good that there are both sweet romances and erotic romances for audiences who like different things.

While I find it funny 3 of the authors I read all got named in rather bad examples, I can understand it. But a book can't take place over months and months and months with a relationship developing how it would in the real world. Besides there are couples who literally meet, fall in love, and get married in a matter of months. It does happen. Not to mention let's remember the romance genre is meant to be a fantasy world even if the characters are just regular people. So falling in love hard and fast and having everything work out is fantasy.

But back on topic here....

The rape stories I do not care for it's really an unhealthy to portray that in a novel. Not to mention it just something I cannot see as something positive no matter where it is in a story. Another thing I just can't handle at all is first person romances. Ugh it rubs me the wrong way in a horrible way that no one really understands. I don't want to read a book where I'm forced to be stuck with the heroine the whole time and I have to stay in her head. It's just boring. It's not a challenge and to an extent I don't consider it actual writing.

~ Ri
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1283643/

NaNo 2008 ~ Darkness' Light

To be honest, I've always been tickled by the idea of romance fiction and I have been reading quite a few romance novels lately, something which I would never even have considered doing before.

After reading the comments above, I think what comes out is that romance readers generally want to read believable romance novels that remind them what it was like when they fell in love the first time, etc etc.

Some of my pet peeves:

1. Ditto on the detailed descriptions of the clothing. I read a book the other day and it became clear that the author had a fetish for navy blue. He was constantly wearing navy blue and she was permanently in navy blue power suits. Even the freaking table cloth was navy blue. If I remember correctly, she even had a navy blue swimsuit. *sigh* Also, those long winded descriptions where the guy examines the woman closely and knows words like taupe and fawn... hello? If the author wants to go into a detailed description of what the heroine is wearing, save it for the bedroom where she is getting dressed and make it come from her. The guy is going to look at her and think "She looks nice."

2. Throbbing cliches! You get my meaning, I'm sure. I mean, everyone has read about the throbbing and engorged body parts. Somewhere I read that authors are wordsmiths, surely with that gift they should be able to come up with something more creative and less jaded.

3. I agree with the person who said that a romance novel written in only the heroine's perspective is boring. I think a reader wants to know what is going on in a guy's head, that he is attracted to her and experiencing conflict because of it. However, what I really hate is when guys have these longwinded thought processes in their heads. The woman's lips are described as shiny red cherries, her curves are luscious, her breasts are... whatever. Guys don't think in those flowery terms. It's a fact. A guy will never look at a woman's lips and think those look like to shiny red cherries. They will look at her lips and think "Gee, I want to kiss those lips."

4. Linked to point number 3 the ranging emotions a guy experiences when he is and the woman are... steaming up the room without their clothes on. Do guys really wonder how they can suddenly feel so much for this tiny little woman, how this tiny little creature has suddenly changed their world and turned their heart upside down, all this right at the point of no return?

5. When the characters reach the point where they finally realise they can't live another moment without feeling what it feels like to get naked together and the guy asks her about 13 times "Are you sure you want to do this? You must tell me now whether I must stop because I won't be able to in about 23.5 seconds."

6. Authors who include fairly technical things in their story and clearly don't have a clue what they are talking about. I refer to car engines, flying aeroplanes and the typical 'guy stuff.' Things like that need research.

Having said all over that, I will admit that I am one of those awful people you don't want to watch a movie with. I spot the mistakes and the continuity errors and make everyone around me groan. I usually get told to shut up a lot. It's the same with books.

TygerKatt
___^..^___

"All that I want to do, is spend some time
Without imagination running rodeo in my mind..."
Craig W Hinds (Watershed)

PS: I hope my comment won't get zapped by the mods. I apologise if I said anything inappropriate.

TygerKatt
___^..^___

"All that I want to do, is spend some time
Without imagination running rodeo in my mind..."
Craig W Hinds (Watershed)

Ahhhhh....what a great topic!

I gotta say, my number ONE pet peeve is GUYS THAT DO NOT SOUND LIKE GUYS!

It's one thing for a metrosexual type or a gay male to notice colors like taupe, lavender, magenta and forest green. A regular Joe-Blow guy...especially the alpha hero type sees beige, purple, some pink thing and dark green. That's it. No crazy colors!

The regular guy....as was mentioned...will notice a mouth, not the cherry red color unless she's eating a freakin' cherry! Guys don't care. They know one thing..they have plans for that mouth. Period. Harsh perhaps, but true.

AND...GOD KILL ME....She turned sparkling eyes on him.

*GROAN*

How the friggin' hell does SHE know her eyes are sparkling?! The only one who should notice an eye that sparkles (bad adjective of course, but you get it right?) is the person she's looking at.

*sigh*

Sorry...that's just one of those things that makes me NUTS.

*Back to quiet reading*

I have a lot..

1. Perfect people, and characters that are slightly flawed, but people love it anyway. Like, Twilight. Edward was supposed to be perfect- good for him! But Bella? She was perfect, all the guys knew it, and her one flaw (clumsiness) people didn't mind. >> Real people have flaws, and no one is perfect like that. If you have a character that's human, make them FULLY human. Give then some PROBLEMS.

2. Then there's the whole thing with money. Has anyone else noticed that in a lot of teen romance books, if a person is rich, they are gorgeous? I know enough average-looking rich kids. They all aren't ALL supermodels. It seems people think that wealthy families all have amazing children...

3. Guys POV, yeah... I agree. They don't usually get colours. Even Periwinkle, a lot of guys just start snorting and laughing at the name. Guys tend to stick to basic- red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black, and white. A little more in between, but the point is, they don't look at things past the basic colour/texture.

4. Extreme tallent. Yes, everyone has SOMETHING they are good at- and everyone knows someone good at like... every sport... I guess this kind of goes along with the first, but there isn't anyone I've ever met that has perfect grades, is the quarter back on the football team, a starter on basketball, a scholarship to Harvard, looks like a movie star/male model, is great with animals, and can cook/bake. Sure, I bet half us girls would love someone like that- but the sad truth of reality, is that NO one has that many tallents.

1. The hero making choices for the heroine against her will (usually this is done in the name of 'protecting' her or because the hero is inexplicably better able to know what the heroine wants than she does herself) and the narrative presenting that as an extremely romantic gesture rather than condescending and Really Not Okay (yes, Stephenie Meyer, I'm looking at you).

2. Unfortunate word choice during intimate scenes. If it sounds painful or diseased, you're doing it wrong.

3. Use of "female" and "male" as nouns when referring to humans. Unless the scene is from a scientist's POV, it just comes off sounding weirdly clinical to me and totally throws me out of the story.

4. The assertion that men and women can never really understand each other because some things are just "men things" and some are "women things," and therefore totally incomprehensible to the other gender. It's one thing if a few characters in a story think this way, but if it's something everyone agrees upon and takes for granted...well, it's just so contrary to my experience of the world that I find it really hard to maintain my suspension of disbelief.

5. In gay and lesbian romance, making one partner very masculine and one very feminine, particularly if every gay couple in the story follows that same pattern. Bad author! No cookie!

6. Shopping/drinking-coffee/watching-chick-flicks with the girlfriends therapy. I don't think one would bother me so much if it didn't seem to be the accepted way for heroines to deal with their romantic issues. But, you know, not all women work through problems by dishing with the girls, so a little variety would be nice, especially for those readers (I know I can't be the only one) who can't relate to that kind of thing at all.

NaNo '08 - Swashbuckling for Love and Profit
A pirate. A ninja. A forbidden love that could change the course of human history.

Yheee, the responses make me happy :3

Something I didn't mention: I'm not a big fan of cars whose names I can't spell without google correcting me. Lambhorginis(?) and the like. Expensive cars are nice, but I like a little bit of realism in my transportation. I love my little navy blue Yaris, it's no ruby red Ferrari(?), but it gets 37 miles/gal and I'll take that ;-;

Predator gait *eyeballs Sherri again*, it's kinda hot, but in retrospect, anything with a predator gait should be avoided, not jumped on. And leather!!! Leather isn't sexy D: It's sweaty and inappropriate for Louisiana. Jeans can be just as sexy, kay thanks.

Maria, plagued with retinitis pigmentosa, is an artist under the iron fist of her money hungry father. Raver, plagued with the death of the people he loved, is a guardian hellbent on protecting those he loves. When Raver takes Maria's disease and family s

*slinks off to run a search and delete all references to 'sparkling.'*

*grin*

TygerKatt

"Signature pending, awaiting a moment of intelligence!"

TygerKatt
___^..^___

"All that I want to do, is spend some time
Without imagination running rodeo in my mind..."
Craig W Hinds (Watershed)

My pet peeve is when its totally obvious in the first 6 pages which two people are going to end up together at the end even though its supposed to be a huge surprise because they hate each other. Seriously, the "hate-each-other-at-the-beginning-but-then-realize-they-can't-live-without-each-other" plot has been done so much. I guess this falls under the heading of "predictable" which is my main hate with romance novels. They get quite predictable...

OH thank GOD somewhere I can VENT!

I have so many Peeves I could write a whole novel on only half of them and a trilogy on the rest.

Lets see.

We'll go from the minor annoyances to the Oh My God if I read this one more time I'll go grab an axe and kill myself.
I'll do 5 only cause otherwise we'll be here all day.

5. Main Character deaths. Why, if there isn't a happily ever after, do so many authors have to KILL their main characters? Its becoming an irritating trend and because I'm pretty much a huge weeny, I cry EVERY time. Cancer, carcrash etc etc.. They could at least do something original.

"Sorry, the love of your life just died."
"Oh my god how?"
" Well he choked on popcorn whilst watching adult films."
"Ohhhh. Got ya."

That I could stand. Originality. Is that so HARD? Better yet, can't they just not kill characters at all?

4. Cheesy lines.

"I can't stop thinking about you."
"I'd die without you."
"You smell like roses and something indescribable."

- The following (as well as other predictable lines) can sometimes sound great, if used in the right context, but too often its random, completely out of context and just plain overdone.

3. Boy hates girl. Girl hates boy. A month later, boy and girl crazily in love.

Seriously, the next person who can't put a new spin to this OLD cliche, I will come after with an axe, right before I chop my own head off.

Don't get me wrong, I love cliches, but I wish someone would put a unique spin on one.

2. No interracial romance. Personally, I absolutely love them, and am just simply dead sick of having to venture into 'embarrasing' sections of stores to try and hunt them down.

They are so rare its disgusting.

1. MY NUMBER ONE MOST PET PEEVY ASPECT OF EVERY NOVEL has most definitely got to be... VIRGINS. Why, god tell me WHY, does almost every single heroine have to be a V-I-R-G-I-N!!!! I get so turned off a book when half way through a nice, sweet, romantic scene to start waxing poetic mumbo jumbo about the pain of the virgin or blood or the utter sweetness in which she was 'taken' for the first time. Its not only disturbing but utterly overused, typical, unoriginal and not to mention a little disgusting! Why can't the female lead have done the dirty at least ONCE before.

I tell you. I'm starting to really REALLY get over the trend.

~

I hope I haven't sound hugely harsh here. Meh. I'm very passionate about my pet peeves.

As for peeves, virgin widows are incredibly annoying. I'm not sure there's anyone in the world who likes them.

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Generally I'm reading historical romances.
I am annoyed by children in romance novels. No more secret babies.
I don't really care if it is unrealistic to not mention birth control and not have the FMC get pregnant but I rather like this in escapist literature. I once tossed a novel across the room and never finished it because the heroine faced incrdible phyical hardship including nearly starving to death and still had a perfectly healthy child.

Don't mess with William the Marshall. He's my hero and he is NOT the villian in a romance novel.

Crack a book on medieval food. It's not all spit roasts and sugared almonds.

Likewise clothing. No lace in the 12th century!

FMC with second sight. Not in the high middle ages.

Some pet peeves:

I have to say I really hate the Big Misunderstanding especially if it can be cleared up by the couple actually talking to each other.

I don't mind virgins in a book (especially a historical) but what I can't stand is when their first time with their true love in the sack is such a mystical orgasmic experience! Please. Give me something real here people.

Can't stand when a weak heroine suddenly becomes Xeena Warrior Princess in time to resolve conflict. Show me some growth first.

I don't like when characters in historicals say something too modern. Jerks me out of the story completely.

Please give me a heroine with some flaws that aren't supposed to be endearing (because she's so beautiful) like her falling over every piece of furniture in sight. Ugh! I read a story a while back that had the hero/heroine in a remote cabin together. She spent most of the novel wearing his t-shirt and nothing else (every other line showed him unable to concentrate on anything other than her exposed rear end gag!) and she kept making stupid decisions like trying to run out in the middle of a storm (wearing said tshirt only) and falling over a log. This was after she fell down the cellar steps. Ugh! Horrid stuff. By the end I totally wanted a rouge bolt of lightening to hit said cabin and destory them both, bounce off the ground and zap me, too!

“A home without books is a body without soul.”
~Marcus Tullius Cicero

By the end of the series Edward's perfection was beginning to get on my nerves as well. I liked him way better initially when he inexplicably "hated" her. Anne Rice's vampires are way more realistic.

1. "Creative" spelling of character names (i.e. "Danice").

2. Anachronistic names... as in when a group of women in their 30s all have names that are current popular baby names and/or appropriate for 1920s film stars.

3. MMCs who walk around with erections and are as easily aroused as 12 year old boys.

I just finished Twilight (my best friend made me read it) and ugh, I think I'm going to die from a sugar induced diabetic coma. Course now my friend expects me to tell her I loved it as much as she did. Although the good thing about reading novels like that is I'm always thinking "I could write this scene better" and it gives me a good jumping off point for at least a small subplot.

Most of my other pet peeves have been mentioned but I have strongly agree that the Major Misunderstanding one is terrible. Sure, misunderstandings will happen but sometimes they are written so outrageously big that I want to smack all the main characters and the author upside the head.

Katie
http://www.katiefleck.com

Stupid heroines are my big pet peeve. Well, let me qualify that. I actually like some fluff-brained heroines. I love Kitty in Georgette Heyer's 'Cotillion.' But she's supposed to be fluffy, we know that going in. But I Hate Hate Hate when the author goes to pains to tell me how smart and independent a heroine is...and then they behave like an idiot.

I'm another hater of 'the Big Misunderstanding.' The one that could be cleared up if only they talked to each other. (This is horrible because I realized that I have a Big Misunderstanding in my Nano!)

Stupid heroines are my big pet peeve. Well, let me qualify that. I actually like some fluff-brained heroines. I love Kitty in Georgette Heyer's 'Cotillion.' But she's supposed to be fluffy, we know that going in. But I Hate Hate Hate when the author goes to pains to tell me how smart and independent a heroine is...and then they behave like an idiot.

I'm another hater of 'the Big Misunderstanding.' The one that could be cleared up if only they talked to each other. (This is horrible because I realized that I have a Big Misunderstanding in my Nano!)

Well, I think we can all agree that the "Big Misunderstanding" is hated by almost everyone on this list. It's only a shame none of the authors currently publishing romance seem to look. -sighs- I mean, if it's something that be resolved with some talking or some common sense, then, yeah, I see how it could cause problems. Seriously, though, if I was guy who had a completely loyal girlfriend who happens to get hit upon a lot...

Well, my first conclusion when seeing her kiss someone would be: "Oh Hell naw, another one of those losers is messing with my girlfriend?" Well, um, minus that little bit of Urban in the beginning. Really, If you can't see to give him or her the benefit of the doubt while claiming to have a strong relationship built on love, I don't think you were going to make it anyways.

Oh, as a part of the "Big Misunderstanding," I hate when the person wronged just immediately forgives their romantic opposite even after they've been treated unfairly with no chance to explain. I'm a grudge holder. Well, I hold a grudge for a week at most... but I think I'd be upset. If the person's going to turn on me so easily, how can I jump right back in a relationship with them?

I can't, so why do all these other people do? And wouldn't you have a little self-esteem issues afterwords? If it's really bad, would abandonment issues crop up? Where's the realism? I'm sure some people out there forgive in a heartbeat, but most do not.

How do I know? Er, look at politics and the news. Humans are angry, vengeful animals. >>

Oh. I hate that once the couple's together... there seems to be no chance for them to break up. There's no serious considerations on why they love the person and if so much unhealthy attachment is, erm, unhealthy? We all know that it's usually best if we take a step back and assess the situation. Most of us might not at the time, but what about at night?

None of the characters I've seen have given other people the light of day. It's as if they're all bogged down in soul mate crap and just know they've picked the right one. -sighs- People break up. People date other people. Sometimes it's a long time before they go back to each other. Not everyone has a fairytale romance and ends up married by twenty-four.

Wow... This post has to be incoherent because I'm running on three hours of sleep from the past four nights. -tries to hand off insomnia to someone else- Please? Take it? xD

My BIGGEST pet peeve is when the characters end up married at the end. Like, I'm glad you FINALLY got together after 200 pages of doin' the dance, but forreal, people should NOT get married after knowing each other for, like, a month. No. Carry on with your fluffy, happy romance, but PLEASE GOD don't get married. Then people wonder why the divorce rates are so high. I blame romance authors.

Predictable plots also really bother me--I should not be able to see the end coming on page one. Really.

Also, like someone else said, kids in romance novels bother me, modern or not. For example, I read one of Jennifer Crusie's (Welcome to Temptation, I think), and even though Phin's kid was perfectly likable, her presence irritated me. This is escapism, and I don't feel like contemplating who's watching your kid when you spontaneously decide to stay the night at your lover's house. No.

And insta-couples are annoying. You JUST met this person. They are not your "soul mate". Also, contemplating your eternal, undying love for the other during or just after sex. Please no. Too much fluff for me.

1. Virgins. Even in a time travel novel where the heroine is from our age. They are always blushing maidens. I am sick to death of them. I can get that in a regency the odds of the heroine having had sex before are small. Though it still bothers me that the guy then has to have had sex with about half the ton before meeting his true love. And he never gets the pox neither, no matter how many doxies he had. Still I would just like some heroines who have had and actually enjoyed having sex before they meet their hero.

2. This one is important. Especially since at one point in time I actually believed this crap. If you're going to write a sex scene, learn about the female anatomy please. I read this a while back on a regency research site and was happy to learn there are others out there who see this:

"The hymen is not up inside the vagina. I've lost count of how many romance novels I have read in which the heroine's hymen (or maidenhead, or cherry) is described as a barrier which the hero encounters (sometimes to his great surprise!) somewhere up inside the vagina. It makes for a very powerful scene when he hits the barrier and surges through it. Unfortunately, he is unlikely to find any such barrier half way up the vagina, as the hymen is actually part of the external genitalia and is visible without any sort of internal examination."

Every time I read about the hero surging through that barrier I want to scream. If you're going to write a romance novel, do your research, read a medical textbook if you have to, or better know your own body.

3. Also I'm with ya'll on the Big misunderstanding.

Municipal Liaison Holland & Belgium
Monderator Romance / Nanowrimo Ate My Soul / Word Wars, Prompts and Sprints
Nanowrimo winner 2001 - 2007 and ready to kick #@$! in 2008!