This year I'm writing a romance between a strong, beautiful and Mysterious mermaid and a slightly evil, devilishly handsome and equally Mysterious pirate vampire. Sound ridiculous? Good.
I'm going for as over-the-top and melodramatic as fathomable. Mary Sues? hell yes. Stupid (yet vitally important) misunderstandings? oh baby. Return to Paradise has sex on page two. I want this one to have it in PARAGRAPH two. Of the PROLOGUE.
So help me, folks. What are the most overused and stereotypical aspects of romance novels? What's your I-know-it's-bad-writing-but-I-still-love-it-to-death guilty pleasure? What kinds of things do you love reading out loud and cackling over with your friends? Help me make this novel as utterly ridiculous as possible.
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Mermaid Vampirates. Yeah. Because I'm that awesome.
- ilzebeth von whatterdoodle
2,818 / 50,000
Oct 9, 2008 - 21 59
Might I direct you to the 'Romance Novel Pet Peeve' thread? You'll find everything we've ever disliked in a novel there XD
----------Maria, plagued with retinitis pigmentosa, is an artist under the iron fist of her money hungry father. Raver, plagued with the death of the people he loved, is a guardian hellbent on protecting those he loves. When Raver takes Maria's disease and family s
60,076 / 50,000
Oct 10, 2008 - 17 07
*laughs* Yes yes! You must check out that thread... it gives you every crazy thing people can't help but put in novels that others can't believe they put in novels!
0 / 50,000
Oct 10, 2008 - 18 46
Fiancees promised from birth can be amusing. Someone should definitely fall out of a tree, into a prickly bush, or in the mud. How about a wardrobe failure, a cooking disaster, a nutty old relative, and a rebellious horse that laughs at you after you fall off it? OMG a tapestry scene - the one in The Lion In Winter is a great example. Any maybe all humor stories need one totally clueless character and one smart one who has fun confusing the others with deadpan statements of nonsense and deliberately misinterpreting things and assigning people to whatever tasks will annoy them the most.
16,283 / 50,000
Oct 11, 2008 - 08 41
I'd throw in some out of control jealousy. She freaks if there's another woman in the same zip code (sea?) as him or he goes green eyed when another man says a name that is close to hers.
I'm impressed with your 2nd paragraph prologue goal of sex! (And I love it!) I just plotted out my novel and the the pair doesn't seem to get together early enough in the novel for sex by 50,000 words. Must.rewrite.plot.outline...
As a 31 year old mom of 5, my reading time is so limited that I need gratuitous sex scenes in my novels.
----------Katie
http://www.katiefleck.com
823 / 50,000
Oct 11, 2008 - 21 28
you might want to try watching some Monty Python. it's not romance, but it sure it could help you with ridiculous ideas. Good luck! Sounds like your novel is going to be fun.
2,818 / 50,000
Oct 11, 2008 - 23 37
Copy a Christine Feehan book, preferably from the Carpathian series *ducks books*
you are NOT the light of my soul! STOP SAYING IT D:<
----------Maria, plagued with retinitis pigmentosa, is an artist under the iron fist of her money hungry father. Raver, plagued with the death of the people he loved, is a guardian hellbent on protecting those he loves. When Raver takes Maria's disease and family s
11,004 / 50,000
Oct 23, 2008 - 15 20
Lest we forget using the phrase "throbbing member." You could go overboard on the throbbing-- the throbbing ship throbbing with the crash--er, throb--of throbbing waves, which only served to echo the throbbing of his throbbing heart as she moved closer and uttered throbbing moans... etc.
Reminds me of the orchestra rehearsal where our conductor started haranguing the cello section that they needed to get more into the music: "Cellos! I need you to be seething! Oozing! Throbbing!"
Anyway, let's see what else is ridiculous...
Hmmm... you could turn the tables on cliches. Maybe your mermaid heroine could be the one with the gambling debts (she owes too many clams!) and the vampirate could be the one who's making his debut at the vampirate ball.
Sounds like lots and lots of fun. And if you need to boost your word count, it can be lots and lots of throbbing fun.
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----------www.thedrafthorse.com
www.thedrafthorse.com
12,397 / 50,000
Oct 25, 2008 - 13 37
Here's a Mary Sue litmus test. I think you'll like it
http://www.ponylandpress.com/ms-test.html