Excerpt: An Aurora Twilight

I dumped the three pills that remained from the aspirin bottle into my mouth and used my hands as a cup to wash them down at the bathroom sink. I stumbled back to bed and had just fallen back asleep when my phone rang, rudely interrupting my comfort. I reached over the nightstand, feeling for the receiver.
“Hello?” I mumbled.
“Tyller?” the voice on the other end responded.
“Yeah?”
“It’s mama, baby.”
My eyes flew open. Did I hear that right? “Who?”
“It’s your mom, honey. Nick finally told me how to get a hold of you. I’ve been trying for weeks.”
I couldn’t speak. I actually found myself speechless. I had no idea what to say and I quietly hung up the phone. I sat in my bed and instinctively, Annie jumped up beside me, purring and rubbing against me.
I absentmindedly petted her. The phone rang again. I stared at it as though the world’s dread was hidden deep inside. I debated on answering it for several minutes and the ringing stopped. And then it began again. One, two, three, four rings. Finally I reached over and grabbed up the receiver. “Tyller? Please don’t hang up, honey.”
All the muscles in my back and arms tensed. “What do you want?”
“To see you. I know this is a shock but please give me a chance to explain.”
“A shock? You think this is a shock? No. A shock is finding out your best friend is your cousin. This is- this is fucking electrocution. This is the electric chair.”
“I just want a chance to talk to you. To explain.”
“Give you a chance to explain?” I repeated. “Explain what, exactly?”
“Honey, please. Just let me talk to you.”
“I don’t have anything to say to you, Leigh Ann.”
She was silent for a moment. “I have looked for you for a long time. I miss you so much.”
“A long time? How long, Leigh Ann? Have you been looking for me for the past twenty one years? Twenty one weeks? Twenty one days? Or maybe just twenty minutes.”
“Honey, I couldn’t be a mother to you the way you deserved.”
“The way I- so you just thought that you would leave instead?”
“Please. I’m begging you. I know I don’t deserve it. Please let me see you and give me a chance to talk to you.”
I wiped away angry tears that had the gall to fall from my eyes. I had worked to keep my eyes dry for years and now it was all in vain. Suddenly, I felt I was nine again. I wanted my mother. But how could I let her? What right did she have?
“I know I have no right to even ask,” she said, as though my thoughts were aloud. “But I’m begging you to reach inside yourself and pull your compassion out. Let me say what I need to and then if you never want to see me again, I’ll understand. I promise I will.”
I rubbed my eyes and took a shuddery breath in. Finally I relented. “Fine. But you are not coming to my place.”