Q: Lisa, you're a psychotherapist and NaNo participant. During Thanksgiving, a lot of American Wrimos struggle to juggle novel-writing and family get-togethers. How can we make time to write without feeling like anti-social, self-obsessed jerks?
A: Holidays are often a conflict of needs. Yours versus theirs. Sometimes they coincide, sometimes not. But before throwing up your typing hands in frustration, here are some ideas and tips on how to cope:
Be realistic. Unless alone, you can’t really expect to log in 5,000 words on Thanksgiving.
If you’re traveling, make sure that battery is charged. And have paper and pens. When everyone is watching the in-flight movie, or enduring delays in the airport, you’ll be upping your word count.
Any errand takes two to three times as long to accomplish during the holidays. That means a trip to the grocery could take much, much longer than usual. Which means you need to scout out a coffee shop ahead of time to get some noveling in, as well as showing up in time with the cranberry sauce.
Remember that, just like real estate, location is everything. Don’t even try to write at home if there are kids or relatives who can ferret you out. If you can write at home, make sure you either have a lock on the bedroom door, or the bathroom if you have more than one, or a good flashlight for the closet.
Sometimes it’s a matter of good timing. If everyone is comatose in front of the TV, leave the dishes and start writing. They might not have the energy to miss you.
Remember this is also about your right to take care of yourself, whatever that may mean, and your ability to assert yourself, respectfully, with family and friends.
It’s also about being a good role model for family and kids. To show that it’s healthy to have family time and alone time, and too much of one, or the other, can be a problem. Sometimes family members can feel hurt that you’d rather be off on your own for whatever reason, than be with them. If you make sure they know exactly how important they are to you, they might feel reassured enough to be okay on their own for a bit.
You can also include them, when not "officially" writing. Tell everyone what you’re doing, get them involved and ask them for ideas and stories to help your novel. Let them participate, and you might keep peace, create harmony, get some great ideas and feel energized for the next time you sit down in front of your laptop.
Lisa Frankfort, Ph.D., LMFT is a three-time NaNoWriMo participant and the author of
The Community Building Companion and How to Stop Backing Down and Start Talking Back.