Hey all! Just looking for someone who's better at editing/proof-reading then me to give my novel a look through. ^_^
Title
Cherry Blossoms
Length: 50,061 words
Draft: First, not even looked over it after finishing
Language: English
Brief Summary
The MFC dies while in Japan, and as a result of being buried by followers of the Shinto religion, she ends up in the Japanese version of the afterlife rather then the Western one. She becomes a worker in the bathhouse of the spirits and becomes popular as she’s obviously a foreigner. Then a dog-demon spirit arrives at the bathhouse and asks the MFC to meet him later, which she does. He tells her about the three Imperial treasures of Japan and explains that an evil sorceress is attempting to steal the treasures in order to procure limitless power for herself. The dog-demon is on a quest to stop her, but as only those of royal descent (no matter how distant) can touch the treasures, he needs the FMC’s help. And so when the Obon festival arrives, both the dog-demon and the FMC set out on their quest.
Sub Genre & Keywords
Sub-genres are Adventure/Historical/Romance, and could be seen as an exploration of the Japanese culture. Main genre is Religious, Spiritual & New Age section because of the Shinto belief explorations and the fact the MFC is in fact dead. Keywords - Japan, cultural exploration, folklore, Shinto beliefs, spirits/kami, yokai/demons.
Known Issues
First draft, haven’t looked at it since finishing, so there’s bound to be stupid spelling mistakes throughout.
Critique Requested
A basic runthrough would be good; spelling, grammar. Does it read well? How is the plot and characters development (is the MFC a Mary-Sue)? Is the continuity good? Is there too much Japanese jargon that isn't explained? Generally, I’d like someone to read it and tell me if they think it’s up to publishing standard. Oh, and I’d like whoever volunteers to have a good knowledge of Japanese folklore and culture - I did loads of research and now I want to make sure I’m accurately portraying the folklore and culture. But I can ask someone else to do that if it isn’t your forte.
Critique Tolerance
I just want the truth, but it’d be nice to know what you liked as well as what you didn’t.
Experience & Goals
Been writing for like, ever, and I have sent part of another (unfinished) story to a publisher, they liked it, but since reading the scammers page, I’m a bit iffy about them now because they want me to shell out for the first editions being printed (they’re called the Book Guild, anyone know anything about them?). So really this is my second stab at getting in touch with publishers and so forth. As been as I’m terrible at editing/proofreading, I’d like someone who knows what they’re doing to give my novel a look.
Method of Communication
E-mails are fine, I’m also on MSN if you want to talk. I can send you a copy of the book (all in one go or chapter by chapter) over the internet, and you can just give it a read through and add notes on how I can improve, and if you’ve made any major changes to the text (ie. spelling, grammar).
Other Notes
I don’t think it’s overly violent (but it’s meant to be a little scary in places), no strong language as far as I can remember, and no graphic sex. Just soppy and melodramatic in places. XD
Thanks in advance! XD
(Ps. For the Moderator. Am I meant to post this in this forum, or in one of the genre lounges?)
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50,061 / 50,000
déc. 1, 2008 - 09 38
I'd be interested in beta reading for you. I don't have the "have a good knowledge of Japanese folklore and culture" you requested. I watch a lot of Japanese anime and stuff, though. But I saw you don't have any replies and this sounds REALLY interesting and I'd love to beta it for you. I can use email and possibly MSN.
When I beta read I use MS Word's "Track Changes" or I can (though I prefer not to) use colours (red for spelling, blue for grammar, purple for other stuff, [for deletions] etc.).
=)
----------Oh my. I actually DID IT!
2008: I Kissed a Girl - Won!
56,405 / 50,000
déc. 1, 2008 - 14 57
I'd love to beta for you. Your story sounds REALLY cool. Sadly, I don't have knowledge of Japanese folklore, either, but I do know a few things about Japan. I can do email, but not much else.
I guess you should know, though, that I haven't beta'd for anyone before. I'm hoping that won't change anything, but, meh.
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50,061 / 50,000
déc. 1, 2008 - 15 47
I have been contacted by two beta's already, but I'm always up for new opinions, so if you both don't mind that others are beta-ing as well, I'm all for you both doing a read through as well. ^_^
bassair, that sounds awesome. The colour coding would better for me (coz I'm daft and need it to be screamed at me, heh), but whichever method suits you, go for it. If you'll NaNoMail me with your email, I'll send you a copy.
Morgra, hey that's okay! I do need a couple of people to read it who don't know alot about Japan to make sure I explain everything. So if you wanna still beta, just NaNoMail me with your email, and I'll send you a copy too.
Thanks both of you for getting in touch. XD
IMPORTANT!
Okay, I may have four different people reading through my novel now and I think that's quite enough to get a rounded set of feedback. Thanks to these guys for voluntering to beta;
June-Saint-Marc
Grizabella
bassair
Morgra
^_^
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