Fantasy Novel Swap

ooh i was contemplating making this thread myself :P

Title:
- Scatter the Darkness (working title)

Length, Draft and Language -
- 50,607 words, very rough draft, english

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words)
- In the kingdom of Briseria a new prince is born, he is the apple of his parents eyes and the joy of the entire nation after the recent death of the former king. It doesn't take long for the queen to notice her son is not a normal human and confides in her maid that he is a shape shifter and they need to protect him from the ravenous citizens who have a deep seeded hatred for the shape shifters. Eventually the shape shifters find out about the prince and their leader, Nayati, realizes that he must liberate him from the empire before he becomes a danger to his parents, the other shape shifters, and the citizens of Briseria. After the child is rescued from his distressed and broken parents Nayati and a friend begin their journey back home during the dead of winter. Once they make it home the child is given to the local healer and story teller Yobani who has decided to raise the child as her own.

Sub Genre & Keywords -
- fantasy, adventure, royalty, shape shifters, family, love, friendship, animals (wolves, large cats, bears, etc)...

Known Issues -
- i need more character development and general scene descriptions, it needs improvement lol, also toward the end it gets jumbled, the beginning is much more coherent, i was thinking about making this part 1... and it doesn't have an ending as of today, though i am still working on it.

Critique Requested -
-mostly does it interest you, does it make sense, what don't you understand and perhaps i can use that to figure out what i need to add, maybe you like someone or don't like someone why? i also think it needs more conflict... but yea

Critique Tolerance -
-be constructive but gentle, lol, i don't want to feel like I'm feeding my novel to wolves...

Experience & Goals - Is this your first novel? Are you looking to publish? Have you sent it out already and it just isn't clicking with publishers? What are your plans?
-this is my first novel, i would like to get it published if it turned into something decent... but realistically it probably won't be

Method of Communication -
-anything really, whatever works for you, aim, email, nano, it's all at my disposal

Anything else? Disclaimers -
-nothing really that i can think of... there are a few sad parts...

Nano 08 - Scatter the Darkness - Won (50,607 words)

Also posted at http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/node/3144409.

Title
Flesh and Spirit

Length, Draft and Language
50k, 1st draft, English

Brief Summary
[Very quick world-building background:] All people have magic within them, but they must Sacrifice their bodies to become spirits capable of wielding the magic. A spirit requires donations of psychic energy from "flesh" (regular, non-spirit, people) to continue existing and using magic. If too much energy is taken, the drained person becomes a Shadow -- an empty husk of a person.

While training as a priestess, Izelle investigates the cause of why Shadows have been increasing recently. She uncovers a plot to take over the High Council and rule the territory. She also discovers that she is a forbidden half-spirit, able to control magic while still corporeal. Should she be found out, she will be executed.

She must keep her abilities secret while trying to disrupt the plot (of the antagonist, not my writing! hrmph).

Sub Genre & Keywords
fantasy, magic, power struggle

Known Issues
The major issues: Characterization and descriptive prose are almost non-existent. It reads more like a 50k-word outline, as some key scenes are rendered as "[INSERT SCENE]" notes. :( Later, I plan to spend significant some time building out much more detailed character bios, maps of the city, national history, etc, to seriously flesh things out and bring them to life in ways that are quite lacking now.

A minor point: I started out in 3rd person limited following the two MCs, but ended up 3rd person omniscient.

Critique Requested
I like my overall plot; what do you think? What could be made stronger about the plot? Which subplots should be expanded vs cut? Are there ways to integrate characters' storylines that I overlooked? What plot holes have I totally overlooked? :)

What POV works best? I switched to omniscient because there were scenes I wanted to describe that neither MC could know about.

I could definitely use suggestions for better fantasy terms for things like "energy" (which is the source of magic), etc.

Don't worry about grammar; I can edit mechanics myself. You can probably ignore tone too, since that could drastically change once I address the known weaknesses of characterization and description.

Critique Tolerance
I know that my writing is weak in many ways. Even so, I would appreciate gentle criticism. I'm thinking my NaNo story is "unengagingly written but has potential." If you think there's nothing at all to salvage, please be very gentle in bursting my bubble. :(

If you think it at least has potential, though, then do share what needs fixing before it can actually be readable by non-Wrimos. :)

Experience & Goals
This is my first novel. Worse, I haven't written fiction since ~6 years ago; turns out, my fiction-writing muscles have atrophied! :( That said, I do want to improve my fiction-writing skills again. I will be reading all the writing books in the bookstore that I didn't have time to read during November. Publishing is probably just a pipe dream, but maybe it could readable by friends and family with enough polish & fixing...

Method of Communication
I like email; I'm open to other methods, if you prefer. I'm using Google Docs for my story, so you can make comments directly into the document. (If you would prefer a different format for reading or making notes, though, let me know. I'm flexible!)

Anything else?
The writing is PG-13, maybe even PG; nothing's graphic. Although when I add in the romance subplot that failed to write itself during November, it won't be PG anymore. :P

I have no deadlines, so turnaround time is flexible.

Thanks!
Arthaey

(I liked Arthaey's little list thing so I'm snagging it for my own ad!)

Title
The Caroline Affair

Length, Draft and Language
79,000 words; someplace in between first and second draft; English

Brief Summary
Two months ago, Caroline Macaffey found herself in a strange world, in the middle of a war between the countries of Channing and Verito; she adjusted to the situation and just in time for Channing to win the war. However, when Caroline realizes she is starting to forget things about her life on Earth, she panics and begins searching for an explanation as to why her memories are disappearing but before she can find an answer, she is caught in the middle of what appears to be the beginnings of yet another war. But what is really going on? And why does Ellis Summertime, the nephew of Caroline’s bodyguard, continue to insist that Caroline is Magic? Between wondering these things and trying to avoid Vidal and Alcamy, twins who seem set on making Caroline’s life miserable, what’s a girl to do?

Sub Genre & Keywords
fantasy, coming of age

Known Issues
Continuity and realistic characters... the MC (Caroline) I'm not too worried about, it's the secondary characters that I feel like I have issues with. Also dialogue and some grammatical errors.

Critique Requested
Well, I'm personally very fond of Dragonchilde's little list (http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/node/3000080) but really I just want to know if the writing style works, if the characters are realistic and relatable and if there are any issues with continuity/dangling plot points. If you have any questions like "What ever happened to X" or "why is this passage even here?" I want to hear them!

Critique Tolerance
To be quite frank, feel free to be as harsh as you feel necessary (only if you feel it's warranted, though). And by "harsh" I don't mean "mean." I mean honest, frank and straight-forward. I'd rather know that you think the whole thing sucks (and why) than some washed up response because you don't want to hurt my feelings.

Method of Communication
Email, first and foremost. If you're interested you can reach me at carylouisakay@yahoo.com.

Anything else?
The writing is very stream of consciousness and might be annoying at times. This is partially on purpose, but it might get to be too much (it is told from 1st POV and is written how a teenage girl talks... lots of "like"s, "or something"s, etc.) There also quite a bit of language and some sexual content... definitely PG-13/R-ish.

Also, I understand that everyone has a life, but I'd really appreciate it if you could be done by the 15th of December.

Thank you so very much and I look forward to hearing from someone soon!
Cary/Lalage

http://carylouisak.blogspot.com

Title
Hunt for the Blood

Length, Draft and Language
89k, 1st draft, English

Brief Summary
200 years ago the brim shattered, followed by 100 years of disaster.
20 years ago the last of the Blood died...
Or so the world thought.
Now the hunt for the Blood begins.

The Defiler is pulling his magic from the land, destroying everything. Only the Blood of Light can stop him. Recently it was discovered that the last of the Blood had not died like to world believed. Aethan Havorilus, a young nobleman from the most powerful kingdom in the world, and Silmarwen Undavi, an elven blademaster, are sent to find the only one who can save the world from complete destruction. The Last of the Blood of Light.

Sub Genre & Keywords
fantasy, magic, power struggle, discovery, epic/high fantasy

Known Issues
The major issues: Characterization and descriptive prose are spotty. Possible plotholes.

A minor point: There are a couple of scenes that felt awkward and I'm wondering if they would seem that way to someone outside the box (in other words, I won't tell you what scenes they are).

Critique Requested
Overall plot; what do you think? What could be made stronger about the plot? Which subplots should be expanded vs cut? Are there ways to integrate characters' storylines that I overlooked/elaborated too much on? What plot holes have I totally overlooked?

Don't worry about grammar; I can edit mechanics myself. You can probably ignore tone too, since that could drastically change once I address the known weaknesses of characterization and description.

Critique Tolerance
Like all new authors, I know my writing is weak so I would appreciate gentle criticism. I do want to know the weaknesses and strengths. Also, keep in mind that this is the first book in a 5 book series so, though I wrapped up the main plot issue in this one book, I have introduced the plot for the next.

Experience & Goals
This is not my first novel. I published a prequel to this book back in April, but that one took me years to get ready. I am hoping to crank these five books out in five years, so input is very helpful.

Method of Communication
I prefer email. PDF's or rtf's only because I don't have MSWord. IM me and would be happy to send it to your email.
I would say the book is PG or PG-13 (not quite sure where the line is drawn.)

I would like to have this one finished by June, so that gives about 6 months of reading time.

Thanks!
Star

Holiday special on my book Blood Forsaken. Visit the Online Store, enter the discount code MPXQMVDJ at check out, andget 25% off the cover price!

Title
Satyr's Freedom

Length, draft and Language
A little over 50K, first draft, it's in English.

Breif Summary
Satyr's Freedom is about a boy, James who finds out that his best friend, Satyr, is a vampire under a curse caused by her father. He and his girlfriend, Corrie, set out to free Satyr from her curse and run into Analia. Analia is a friend of James's mother and it turns out she is a Legend, an ancient being who protects earth from supernatural dangers. Analia tells Corrie, James and Satyr that they too, are Legends. As they trek across the country to do battle with Satyr's father, they meet the other Legends and when all seven of them are together they go to defeat Satyr's father, the ultimate vampire king.

Sub Genre and Key words
maybe it is a little Science Fiction, i'm not sure. Vampires, power, friendship, acceptance, secrets,

Known Issues
Somewhere there is an inconsistency, but i can't remember where it is. Also it seems that after writing the above summary it seems uninteresting. maybe it needs more jazz or maybe i'm deluding myself. Also i have a hard time distinguishing my characters fro one another, they all end up nearly the same. They need more individuality.

Critique Requested:
Well, i want to know what you think of it, if it is a good compelling idea, if my POV is correct or is confusing, if i spend too much time rambling on about something that might be insignificant.

Critique tolerance,
I am pretty tolerant, i have an account on another writing site and they are pretty harsh, try to give constructive critisism instead of just saying 'this is totally unreal'. I know it is unreal.

Experience and Goals
This is my third novel but one of the other two will never be published and the second one needs to be revised. My goal is to have another finished edited novel under my belt and perhaps query this one instead of trying to patch together some of my other WIP.

Method of communication:
email is much preferred over anything else. But for response to this 'personal ad' please use the Nanomail.

Anything else?
There isn't any bad language or anything like that. The book is more about friendship and action than sad teary parts there is also some mystery thrown in there too at the beginning. I hope to start editing that second novel i talked about in February but that can be pushed back. That's it i think.

Oxlahun

Title:
- Misalyn (working title)

Length, Draft and Language -
- 50,005 words, first draft, english

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words)
-Kaliel, a 19 year old 'college' student comes across two purple gem stones on her way to her dorm room. Unbelievably, when she bends down to look at them, they rise toward her, latch onto her eyes, and absorb into her, lodging themselves behind her eyes. Immediately, she goes to see her local healer who monitors her and tells her to come back later. Unfortunately there is a barrier erected over the island she lives on that blocks magik and she cannot transport back to the healer.

Later, during an argument with her mother, red crystals burst from her body and kill her mother. Desperate to find out what's wrong with her, she begins the short walk to her friend's house when she meets a rough young man who seems to possess power over crystals similar to hers. Talik is able to transport her back to his 'base' where they are attacked by a tracker before Kaliel can gain more information on her new ability.

Little does anyone suspect but Kaliel's friends are dragged into the turmoil and the race to control these crystals and not be killed by these trackers begins.

Sorry I am terrible at summaries. If you want an even better idea read the excerpt on my nanowrimo page!

Sub Genre & Keywords -
- fantasy, adventure, love, friendships, deception, action, magic.

Known Issues -
- I know I have too much description and in order to boost my word count I would explain my charcters' thoughts. The very beginning needs a LOT of work also. Once Kaliel leaves the healer's it gets MUCH better. (You can point out these points if you want to or have an idea on how to fix them though).

Critique Requested -
- Is it interesting/easy to read/original? What needs work, what doesn't. Do you think I should add a scene here or there, add another character, change something, are the characters consistent, etc, etc. Just anything besides grammar.

Critique Tolerance -
- Be constructive and don't be rude. If you follow those two things I should be able to take any sort of critique.

Experience & Goals - Is this your first novel? Are you looking to publish? Have you sent it out already and it just isn't clicking with publishers? What are your plans?
-This is my second nanowrimo novel and I've written one novel and one novella before I started nanowrimo last year. I am also working on a long short story in my writing workshop class. I have yet to edit them.

I am definitely looking to edit and then publish. Haven't sent anything out at all yet and I do not plan to for at least two years.

Method of Communication -
- E-mail, nanomail, aim, or msn. Send me a nanomail or email me at bethct22@hotmail.com if you'd like to critique it. I am online often. (:

Anything else? Disclaimers -
- Umm...I said before but there are some gory scenes. And it's not finished yet if that makes a difference. Also, once you get through the first chapter or two of the story (after Kaliel leaves the healer), it gets easier to read.

Thanks!
~Talathiel

Title:
Dead Man's Party

Length, Draft, Language:
approx 65k, 1st draft, English

Summary:
Camila Montenegro is a mage and a paranormal investigator, born in Europe, but living in an unnamed city in the states, and the head of a corporation (Hunters Inc.) that makes their business by solving supernatural problems. The story opens with a complex mission given to the firm by the US government, to investigate a party at a ski lodge that ended in a gruesome manner -- and to which they cannot find a scientific explanation to.

The book is mostly centered on the investigation, but a few of the protagonist's own issues and past come back to haunt her, and she has to juggle her own troubles with the complexities of her job.

Sub.Genre:
Urban fantasy, Paranormal investigation

Known Issues:
- I'm not a native english speaker, which will certainly affect my language, also due to my tendency to at times use Portuguese sentence structures. Such as "Which means that..." which I use to exhaustion.
- I am quite good at "writing from the hip" which means my inner editor slept during the entire Nano, therefore, be ready to find a lot of repeated words and stupid mistakes.
- I really wanted to finish the novel (and not only reaching 50k), which means that the final part of it is visibly a rush job to try to get the story closed.
- The verbal tenses change after the first two chapters: I had begun in present, then shifted to past. Later on the novel, there are passages that shift to the present, but that is a deliberate change, meant to represent a shift in the location of the action.
- There are possibly a lot of "Tell" instead of "Show" moments, because I needed to decide how magic and the supernatural worked, and I wound up disserting on them far too much, as I determined the setting and the Mythos. Also, the terms referring to "ley lines" shift back and forth: Ley-lines, Ley Lines, 'lines, Dragon Veins\Arteries.
- The setting-specific jargon was in all likelihood shifted back and forth, and very likely different terms are used for the same thing, due to my distraction alone.

Critique Requested:
Grammar and lexicon critiques are quite welcome, as are suggestions concerning how the plot can be made more solid and less like feeling like a rush job, as well as removal\adding of scenes..

Ditto for character criticism, although I think I managed to give a good development, despite having a huge amount of secondary characters dancing in and out (That was actually deliberate, as I wanted to shatter the ages old cliché of the lonely, hard as nails urban fantasy heroine, and instead go for someone who relies a lot on allies, and is a team player).

Critique Tolerance:
I'm actually quite capable of taking strong and direct criticism, but I ask that it has some content to it, as well as suggestions for improvement (ie. "It sucks just because I say so" won't help me improve it.) Nit-picking is also appreciated because greatness is in the details.

Experience & Goals
My first novel ever. Really. I never underwent such a huge writing project, although I started quite a few. My writing experience is limited to schoowork reports, fanfiction for several genres (namely RPGs like Vampire, Legend of the Five Rings, or games like City of Heroes), and play-by-forum roleplay. Which means I have a lack of knowledge of how to write long plots -- most of my writing has been short stories or cooperative writing.

Method of Communication:
Email or MSN , you can reach me through lasombra_prim@hotmail.com. If you add me on MSN, please send a note saying you're from NanoWrimo, so I can put you on the proper group.
I'm fine with notes through Nanowrimo too.
Currently, my novel sits on a badly formated .doc, but I'll upload it to Google Notes, for easier reference, should you prefer.

Anything else?
I tried to avoid making this yet another "Paranormal Romance Where Every Male Falls In Love With Protagonist", but she has the attention of many of the male characters, who, in fact, have no feelings for her, but plan to use her for their own advantage -- and seducing her is the fastest way to do it. The problem is that since this is in a 1st person POV, the protagonist is totally not aware of their intentions, and has to judge them at face value.
I am a romantic at heard, but I tried to downplay romance to try to avoid this pitfall of "Protagonist Fanclub". Suggestions on how to get more romance without it becoming a Fanclub Fest would be highly appreciated.

I'm now waiting eagerly for vict-- err... volunteers to review my meager work!
Thanks in advance.

Ana

Title: Sheltering Wings
Length, Draft, Language:
50, 126 words 1st draft, English

Summary:
Christopher Paarlston lives in the subarbs of Chicago with his mom, dad and little sister. He's a normal preteen boy except for two dragon wings sprouting from his back.
Over 1500 years ago, eleven dragons were transformed into humans. The offspring of these former dragons sometimes had dragon traits such as wings or firebreathing. However, the evil Devin is determined to hunt down the "mongrels" and kill them.
One day, Devin finds Christopher's family. His mother and sister are wounded, and Chris is kidnapped. For several years, Chris is imprisoned in a dark cave, while Devin uses his blood as an anti-aging agent.
Finally, Chris escapes, but in the process, transluminates himself. He learns that his family is still alive and sets off to find them. But can he protect his sister from the dangers that lurk at every turn?

Sub.Genre: modern realistic/ fanfic

Known Issues:
Yes, I know some parts completely need to be dropped, esp the "subconscious scene"
Action moves too fast near the end because I wanted to get done.

Critique Requested:
Please read the first section and make sure it makes sense for non-fans of Bryan Davis!
That's basically it!

Critique Tolerance:
Fairly high as long as it remained full of helpful suggestions

Experience & Goals
I've written two short stories and have several works in progress, including a sister novel to this one

Method of Communication:
Nanowrimo mail.

Anything else?
Not currently

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."
— Maya Angelou

Title -- On the River: Makarios (This is part two of a (hoped for) Quartet called The Daemonologica. )

Length, Draft and Language -- 57.7K, 1st, English

Brief Summary
Makarios Panderos is a retired actor and musician, and also the newly-wedded consort to Imperator Magnus Asmodeus of Diis, his homeland. After a five month separation Makarios rejoins his lord while on campaign, only to discover things are very different. His lover is a haunted man, engaged in a bitter and bloody civil war with two renegade provinces. Makarios doesn't understand the conflict, but wants to show support for a man called by some a tyrant. Unfortunately, Makarios gets kidnapped and held hostage by the insurgent leader Spurius Corba, who demands that Magnus leave the country or Makarios will be killed. Makarios has as many days as he has fingers...and Spurius isn't the only thing haunting his nights, there is the ghost of a boy whispering in the shadows, the result of an old and potentially damning mistake...

Sub Genre & Keywords
alternate history, alternate universe, political fantasy, ghosts, demons, angels

Known Issues --
This is my first attempt at 1st person POV. I like the unreliability of my narrator, my big concern is that his narrative voice remains consistent and engaging, as well as giving the right tone to his experiences (some of which are very harrowing). Also, because this is a multi-part story, I want to know what information needs to be restated or elaborated from the previous book. I'm also bad at grammar.

Critique Requested --
plot holes, narrative burps, anything that needs tweaking. (granted some bits are supposed to be unreliable...)

Critique Tolerance --
I have skin like rhino hide and bathe in acid regularly. when not playing devil's advocate with myself, I'm happy to play hardball with a critic. You've been warned, I want blow-by-blow reasons for the criticism, it gives me great pleasure.

Experience & Goals --
Not my first novel (just my NaNo cherry). I do hope to be published one day. Hope being a metaphor for burning with every fibre of my little black soul...

Method of Communication --
NaNo mail, email, instant messengers (AIM preferred). my handle for both is fairypunk_4e@hotmail.com. (no, I don't know how that works)

Disclaimers -- graphic violence, disturbing images, adult situations (the kind that can't be explained to children without crying, not the kind found in porn), rape, and my narrator is gay, without the redeeming romantic traits of; good looks, youth, bravery, magical destiny or any romance (in the narrative proper). to put it plainly he's 40, fat, balding and squeamish. he's yours for the sporking (or spanking, he likes both ;) )

"I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night."
Sarah Williams

"All that's left are our own imaginings"
Kezia Spears

Since everyone has made a (much better) form to the way the novels are being presented, I better update mine!!!

Title:
Beyond the Door

Length, Draft, and Language:
54,312 (according to my word document counter), 1st draft, English

Subdrama and Keywords,
Alternate worlds, doorway, coming of age, slightly religious, power struggle

Known issues:
Probably characterization of some of the more minor characters, and I think it might need some more background information put into it somewhere.

Critique requested:
I want general impressions, hints for improvement, what I should develop, what I should abandon, etc. And anything you might want to add from this great list of questions:
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/node/3000080

Critique tolerance:
If you critique my work, please have at least one positive thing to say. Other than that, I will take any harsh thing you say as long as it's not mean or extremely insulting. I might prefer you to be gentle, but I can take harsh.

Experience and Goals:
This is my first novel, but I have been writing fanfiction (mostly for X-men) for quite some time. I actually discovered the way I write best through fanfiction, plus the way I like to create outlines. I also write lots of poetry, and I know a lot about other fantasy worlds through all the reading I've done.
I hope, with all capital letters, that my novel will get published someday. I really think it has potential, but I'll let whoever wants to read it tell me what they think about that. ;o)

Method of Communication:
I prefer e-mail, and I have MS Word 07. My e-mail address is above, so I'll not repeat it. I also have MSN.

Anything Else?
Well, my novel is definitely PG. I'd almost qualify it as G, but there are some deaths and some (very minor) violence. And a sword-fight. And it gives a unique perspective on religion - I'm a Christian, so expect God to be in there. (I won't push my beliefs on you - I'm just giving you a fair warning. I explain how everything works (religion-wise) in an interlude in my story.)

I have no deadlines, so whatever works for you works for me.

Mourning Star

Greed and Nobility

^^ Working title. Hush.

Length... just barely over 50,000 words. First rough raw draft.

Summary: In a universe dominated by greed and corruption, several characters break free of the mold that holds them down and escape into parallel worlds, running into each other and eventually forming an army searching for change, fighting against the greed of slavery.

Sub-genre? I wouldn't even really know. It has dragons and centaurs, if that makes a difference.

Known Issues - I know it's rough. There's perhaps nearly a quarter of the story that just doesn't exist at the moment. I know that the POV changes are kinda difficult to follow through a lot of it and that sometimes things just happen without explination. That doesn't mean I don't want these things pointed out to me though.

Critique Requested - I'd really like to have advice on how to solidify my characters... they're well formed in my head, but I'm not sure how good they are in actuality.

Critique Tolerance - I can handle critique as rough as it can be. Even if I'm told it's a steaming heap, that's fine. I'd just like some constructive criticism.

Experience & Goals - this is my first complete novel. I'm not sure if this has enough potential to have goals yet or not, but we'll see.

Method of Communication - I'll email or chat or whatever anyone prefers, but I do have to say that I love snail-mail marked-up craziness. It just completes me. kai.jenski@gmail.com or nanomail to initiate contact though.

Anything else? nope. Any interest would be appreciated. I suppose I should also say that I will read anyone's novel as long as they are willing to read mine. So it can go back and forth, haha.

Thanks!

--Kai Jenski

I'm not as fantasy as some of you guys, but I think this is still the best place for me. So:

Title: Spyglass

Length, Draft and Language: 67k, 1st and a 1/2th draft, passable English

Brief Summary: Tucked away on a remote island, twin siblings Thessa and Avery have been secret lovers until the brilliant Avery leaves to seek his fortune in England. Thessa follows after a head injury has caused her to forget everything that she and her brother once shared. Living so close to what he can no longer have, Avery becomes consumed by the thought of traveling back in time and correcting his mistakes. But when he succeeds, his re-invented life begins the same downward spiral...

Sub Genre & Keywords: steampunk, alternate history, 19th century, London, time travel, inventors, incest, airships.

Known Issues: Occasional wandering perspective. There are a few areas where it's clear that my research on 19th century London was a little... hasty. And it's not unthinkable that there's a plothole staring me in the face and I just haven't realized it.

Critique Requested: Character development, plot, smoothness of writing, with a particular eye to how engaging the novel is to read. I want to polish the novel to a blinding sheen, and I want to know what needs to be fixed to make it happen. I'm curious as to whether this could someday be a candidate for publication or if it's a lost cause.

Critique Tolerance: I'm tough-ish. I am not averse to you being nit-picky, but I am averse to you being mean.

Experience & Goals: I'm a fourth-time NaNoer and I've been writing even longer, but this is the first novel I've liked enough (and finished enough) to consider pursuing publication.

Method of Communication: I can do e-mail (unityislove@gmail). I've also put the whole thing onto a Google Sites site (I wrote it there), which allows you to leave comments on the page (you need to set up a password with Google, though).

Anything else? No deadlines. I should probably mention that the central issue of the novel is an incestuous relationship between siblings (including a couple of sex scenes-- not terribly graphic, but still). If that squicks you out, this probably isn't your novel. I would be utterly delighted to trade with someone, especially if you have a similar genre or subgenre!

Title The Magician's Daughter

Length, Draft and Language 50 K first draft, english

Brief summary: Beatrice is a young woman who never knew her parents. When her adopted family is slaughtered in a brutal attack by the bloodthirsty Weiss, she finds herself alone again, and feeling that she can not find her place in the world.
Idumea is a troubled young girl with the unique ability to absorb other people’s magical powers just by being near them. Her powers are increasingly making life difficult for her… she can not control them, she does not know what she should do with them, and there are some powers you just do not want to have. The fates of these two young women are thrown together when Beatrice’s mother, a Magician*, is discovered to be alive in a far off land. The two girls travel together to seek her out, hoping that she will have some answers for them. Unfortunately, they do not go unnoticed, and their trail is followed by Apollyon and Joffe, two Weiss brothers who will stop at nothing to steal Idumea's powers to advance their own military careers.
*note- a Magician in this world is a person who studies magic in an academic sense. In this world, there is no way to learn or study magic… most people are born with a single magical ability that does not change.

Sub Genre & Keywords - girl power! world hopping, story telling, some love

Known Issues - Infodump. Melodramatic writing. Completely embarrassing epilogue. Character development

Critique Requested - Anything and everything. I want to know what you would like more of- what you would like less of. What are the major areas I would need to work on during revisions.

Critique Tolerance - extremely high tolerance. I am a college professor, so any criticism I get is fair payback for all the term papers I mercilessly took the red pen to! Plus, I have plenty of family and friends who will say- "oh, it's really good". I want someone who will help me make it better.

Experience & Goals - This is the third novel I have written, but none published. I would like to be published someday, but have a long way to go.

Method of Communication - E-mail works best. I like to swap the entire novel, but work 1 chapter at at a time. I can only do about 1 or 2 chapters a week.

Anything else? Even though I hope to get published some day, I think this has been a lot of fun. Hoepfully, swapping and critiquing will also be fun.

Title
Vae Victis - The Melody

Length, Draft and Language
59k, first draft, English

Brief Summary
Darius Hartwell, a university professor with a haunting past as it relentlessly pursues him even to the world of the living, bringing along with it an impending apocalypse no-one could foresee.

Meanwhile, a young boy by the name of Tape tries to find his place in a world ravaged by mean-spiritied... well... spirits, and all sorts of evil that usually lurks about after the world has ended.

Sub Genre & Keywords
post-apocalyptic, demonic,

Known Issues
Most of what I have written is the character's retrospective glances into their own past; memories and stuff. Too few things happen, plus I am missing a catching introduction and kick-off in the beginning of my story. Some of the facts I've got in there might be a "bit" far off from reality as well, but hey! Fantasy!

Some slight entrances by the redundancy department of redundancy here and there, but I'll try sorting those out after I've managed to open the document again.

Quite the bit of it is plundered off other authors I have read books from lately, to the degree of 100% copying, hopefully either me or you, the reader, will come up with something to cover over the copyright infringements.

Critique Requested
I would very much like to hear what you think is good, what you think is bad, and what should be added/looked further into by my characters or my writing, in addition to what should just be cut out. I'll be happy to hear anything!

Critique Tolerance
I'll take anything, as long as it doesn't go into "ur mom"-jokes or those kinds of things. It would be nice to not just get hit with all the bad stuff (which I know exists in vast amounts in this novel) though.

Experience & Goals
This is my first time in Nano, and first ever attempt at writing anything above four pages. I haven't got any real experience in novel writing, though I do love reading them.

Method of Communication
I strongly prefer email, as it's pretty much the only thing I check at a regular basis. If you do, however, know of a method that would make this process any easier, I'm open for suggestions. My current email is: kirimacho (at) gmail.com

I haven't got any deadlines, though it surely would be nice to have it read through and all the weaknesses listed before the 16th December.

Best regards,
Screwtape.

When the ship hits the fan, I'll probably be the one having to sue some green-finger pumpkin for not putting the phone on hold instead of watering the crane.

I need to read through all of these to pick one to read. I've never done this before, but I'll try to see.....

Title : Little World

Length, Draft and Language: Just over 50.5K, unfinished first draft, English.

Brief summary:
A grieving teenage girl (Natalie) from California finds herself in a nightmare when she falls into a forbidden city. Rescued by a mysterious woman named Shell, she is quickly whisked off on an adventure where magic is ruled by vigilantes, the fates of many rest in the hands of a corrupt few. A wicked Queen seeks to retain her absolute power by destroying anything that will stand against her, including the deposed leader she ousted in her rise to power. Now, trapped in the Queen's thrall, Natalie must overcome her homesickness and her inability to trust, while her existence and reason to be hangs in the balance.

Sub Genre & Keywords: High fantasy, adventure, family, coming-of-age, travelers

Known issues:
Besides the inability to come up with a decent summary? There are gaping plot holes where I skipped over minute details. And, sometimes, there are *too* many details. And since I was writing in two different places, I would start new chapters without finishing the old ones. Some scenes were awkward to write. I felt the story got stronger as the chapters moved on. The story is also only about half done.

Critique Requested: I am not necessarily a new writer, but I don't want to be flamed, either. Mechanical errors are fixable. What I need is another perspective from someone who hasn't been working on this since November 1. I would appreciate positive comments, however.

Experience & Goals: This is my fourth Nano novel and one that I am actually quite proud of. While other novels had years of pre-planning, this one had two weeks. I had two goals for this novel: create an actual world where more than one race lives (currently, I have three races) and to work on character development and description. I currently have no plans to publish, but if I love it enough, I'll consider it.

Method of Communication: For now, email. I have Office 2003, so can accept any documents, but my laptop tends to screech at reading PDFs. My email address is angelster@gmail.com.

Anything Else?
I would likely rate the story as a PG so far, since there haven't been any gruesome battle scenes, but more of a traveler's story. There are some semi-violent, non-battle deaths. Know that there is more to come.

"Let the months and the years come, they can take nothing from me, they can take nothing more." - Kat

Title: Alice's Wonderland

Length, Draft and Language: It's at about 58k right now, but by the time I want it read, it might be a bit more, but probably no longer than 75k. It'll be the second draft. American-spelling English

Brief Summary:
Alice Orlean has always been the freak and the outsider. He is the boy with a girl's name and a pretty face. He is the boy who skipped an entire grade and still knows all the answers.

Alice was a missing person for an entire year, December 21st to December 21st, and now that he's back, he can't remember a day of it, or even the days before it. Overnight, as it seemed to him, twelve years, his entire life, was lost and he can't seem to find them. All he has to go on are the fickle memories of others, many of which just don't feel right, and the glimmers of association floating up from somewhere in the deep of his mind.

Now, a year after his mysterious reappearance, his parents are sending him to Trowbridge Academy, an arts-centered school for the rich, gifted, and psychologically damaged or disturbed. The brochure claims it is a stunningly beautiful campus with top-of-the-line art, drama, and music facilities available to every student, unique and alternative counseling services and the highest security for an educational institution in the nation. Alice finds that all of this is true... especially the part about security. But as strange as Trowbridge is at first glance, Alice soon discovers that it is even stranger. The seemingly endless gardens and forests separating the school from the rest of reality and the weird architecture of the school itself add up to one thing: an eerie backdrop for an utterly abstract and dissociated opera. The plot? Far too abstruse for any critic, and the secret playwright may very well be the most dangerous character in a cast of dangerous characters.

Sub Genre & Keywords: dark fantasy, sort-of vampires (but not really), mystery, horrorish, boarding school, extremely gifted children.

Known Issues: None. It's gonna be as perfect as I can make it.

Critique Requested: Anything you spot.

Critique Tolerance: Be as brutal as you need to be.

Experience & Goals: This is my first original fiction novel, but I've written quite a few fanfics and one or two original fiction short stories. I definitely am hoping to publish but I haven't sent it out yet. It's the first in a planned series.

Method of Communication: E-mail/chat. The manuscript itself can be sent back and forth with corrections over e-mail, but I'd like to be able to discuss it over chat as well. My e-mail is savangel@ymail.com and my AIM is thelocust7.

Anything else? The main character attends a school for damaged children, so there are references to problems from anorexia to various forms of abuse to plain, straight out insanity. There will probably be some violence, bullying and mild language when I'm through rewriting, and there is also severe gender and other forms of mind bending. The MC is a boy named Alice, there's one character whose gender no one ever discovers, and there are strong hints at a same-sex relationship. Also there are absolutely no trustworthy adults. It's about young teens (and older teens and preteens), but I wouldn't call it a children's or even a young adult story.

I don't plan on letting anyone read it until the end of January (this promise to myself was the only thing that kept me from editing all through November) and it will be the second draft. However, if anyone is willing, I'd love to have people to bounce ideas off of as I rewrite.

Faithless: The Blood of Kimar, Volume One

153,000 words, It feels like the millionth draft but more realistically we can call it, 'almost ready for agent' draft, English

Brief Summary (not more than 300 words)
The Kimarian Empire has stood for over 10000 years, ruled by the Blood; divine children of Kimar. Kimar has taken physical form as a giant crystal tree that sits at the center of the Seat. All is not as it seems though. A plot to overthrow the Empress, the rise of the evil known only as 'Faithless', a boy having maddening visions, a girl filled with hatred and a power that chills the blood and bones of her fellow Blood, secrets within secrets and more riddle the pages as the stage is set for the decline of the Kimarian Empire.

The story is told from multiple POVs, though some are more obvious protagonists than others.

Sub Genre & Keywords -

Fantasy, Magic, Religious, Political, War, Intrigue, Visions, etc.

Known Issues -
Interesting question, known issues. If I knew them I would fix them. I suspect that the beginning has a couple of areas that need working. and I know for a fact that one or two chapters at the end need work, but I do not want those overlooked.

Critique Requested - what do you want feedback on? Plot, a pass at the structure, tone, POV, grammar, character development, continuity?
I would anything and everything critiqued. We could start with 'Did you like it? Did it capture your attention and lead you through so that you wanted to turn the page? You could then pepper in some comments on grammar, whether or not a particular story element works, whether or not a character works, whatever comes to mind really.

Critique Tolerance -
Rip it to shreds if it warrants it but do not leave it at that. If you have something critical to say, include what could be done to address the issue. Saying it stinks is not helpful. Saying that the character isn't believable because X would never do that and if you want the reader to have sympathy try to have him exhibit Y... you know that sort of thing.

Experience & Goals - Is this your first novel? Are you looking to publish? Have you sent it out already and it just isn't clicking with publishers? What are your plans? (Be brief but help people understand what sort of critique would be helpful at this juncture.)
I have written several short stories, a boat load of poetry, three fully completed novels, two mostly completed novels, 50 or so novels in progress (10-60 pages), etc. I plan on being published. There is no doubt about that goal. I will get there.

Method of Communication -
I am available to communicate via email, IM, and NaNo

Disclaimers: Violence. Death. Religious ceremonies and philosophies. Executions. Children dying (unfortunately). Vivid and disturbing imagery. Slavery. Political intrigue. Sex (limited).

Savangel wrote this:

Title: Alice's Wonderland

Length, Draft and Language: It's at about 58k right now, but by the time I want it read, it might be a bit more, but probably no longer than 75k. It'll be the second draft. American-spelling English

Brief Summary:
Alice Orlean has always been the freak and the outsider. He is the boy with a girl's name and a pretty face. He is the boy who skipped an entire grade and still knows all the answers.

I say:

I would love to read this, crit this, whatever. I know my novel is more than twice as long but I would certianly be willing to crit this if you want.

I would love to swap with you if you are interested? Your story sounds wonderful :)

Well, my novel isn't quite finished, but I will be completing it this month. Since I wasn't sure how long the NaNo forums stay up, I thought I'd try to get in on this now. So let me know if you'd like to critique mine anytime after the New Year (or you could critique the first half of the story now if you like).

Title: Er....it doesn't have one yet? (I'd love suggestions.)

Summary: Rhia Davis is a normal girl. Until she learns that she's adopted. And from a magical realm. And the daughter of a king. Things get weirder when her boyfriend Danny is suddenly found dead, even weirder when nobody seems the least bit fazed by it, and weirder still when she's told that he is in fact not dead -- he's in the magical realm. Her best friend May suggests they go find him, so with a little help from a nightclub owner, they enter the magic realm (it doesn't have a name yet, I'm calling it magic-land for now). There they learn that Danny is actually Prince Danishan, a goblin, preparing to lead a revolt against the Elven King, who happens to be Rhia's dad. Can they stop the war?

(Okay, I swear to dog it's more interesting than that makes it sound... I'm bad at summaries.)

Known Problems: The beginning got a bit out of control and basically lasts far too long. Several things don't have names yet because I haven't created a language or done a lot of world-building. Basically, all problems arise from the fact that I started NaNo on November 3rd with nothing but a very basic idea in my head and a whoooole lot of determination. (Well, unless it's worse than I think it is....)

Type of Critique Requested: Well, tell me if the plot is any good, obviously. I can handle a good deal, but I don't want to hear "This sucks, you're a terrible writer." If it sucks or is poorly-written, tell me the specific problems. Also, I'm not sure if the characters are really distinguishable from one another. I can tell because I wrote it and they're in my head, but I need to know if a reader can tell.

Rating: That depends on if you want to read it right now exactly as is, or if you'll wait till January. Right now it's very much R rated -- there's a pretty explicit sex scene involved (not vulgar, but very much like it jumped out of a romance novel). As of January I'll probably have gotten rid of that scene. There will still be violence, and some level of sexuality, so it's probably just barely PG-13. Well, in the US we'd likely call it R (there's also strong language). In the UK it'd be rated 15. If you're an adult, you won't likely be too offended. If you could handle the final Harry Potter novel, mine should be decent. That was a really long way to explain the rating... oh well.

I actually think that summary makes it sound very interesting. I love the idea and how everyone's connected. Don't doubt yourself because after you world-build and name everything, you're golden! If you ever plan to publish this, I think you could with enough editing (grammatically and all) it will be easily publishable but I think the idea seems pretty solid. (:

(Double post! Sorry!)

Title The Water Dragon

Length, Draft and Language 70 to 80 thousand words (I cut a bit), 1st draft, English

Brief Summary A kingdom is afflicted with a bad drought, where the peasants beg to survive and the nobility want for nothing, ruled by a corrupted House. A prophecy says that the Dragon's Son can bring back the rain. Zem (the Dragon's Son) goes on a quest to do just that, along with a group of other teenagers, pursued by the Prince and Princess of the House.

Known Issues I'll do grammar/spelling editing on my own, but I'd appreciate mention of any unclear sentences or ones I might miss.

Critique Requested Plot, continuity (especially with the tone and the characters), sense-making. Also, especially at the mid-beginning, grammatical and sentence structure.

Critique Tolerance Be honest. We both know this is the first draft, so I haven't edited it at all. In many cases, I haven't even read back, so there will be inconsistencies. I want to hear everything you have to say, the good and the bad.

Experience & Goals This is my first novel. I don't want to publish it but I plan to take advantage of CreateSapce' offer of one free copy for my own use, so I want it to be publishable even if it's never going to be published.

Method of Communication I'd prefer email. My address is ientoshi31 [at] yahoo.com. No spam please.

Anything else? Disclaimer: Occasional violence, one or two swear words. Generally G-rated, but I make no promises.

I really want help with this one.

Title: The Hybrid

Length, Draft, Language: 70,000 words, 1st draft, English

Brief Summary: (less than 300 words, I swear)

Three thousand years ago, magic was used to create the avtappi by crossing horses with vranyxia. Since then, the avtappi have become a viable species in their own right. The cardinal rule of breeding avtappi is never to permit them to be crossed with vranyxia, for such a hybrid would appear to be no more than an avtappi while carrying all the abilities of a vranyxi, and no inhibitions, conscience, or sanity.

The hybrid is born, raised and trained for battle. His first rider is slain in battle, and his second rider is abusive. His third rider discovers that he is a hybrid, but proposes to keep that secret. But the secret is discovered and the hybrid flees for his life, seeking his vranyxia kin. This proves to be a grave error, and the vranyxia treat him worse than ever humans did.

The hybrid struggles to survive in a world that is increasingly out to get him. The human priests are hunting him, his vranyxia kin want to kill him, and the only being that isn’t displeased with him is his God. He ends up fleeing to lands where a beast like him is automatically assumed to be demonic, but he finds a girl who loves him. But he loses her in a slaver’s attack, and is forced to flee once more.

He returns home, and discovers that nothing has changed. If anything, the situation has become even worse for him. Until he finds the one man with the power to save him. Or perhaps they were meant to save each other.

SubGenre & Keywords: Epic/Dark Fantasy

Known Issues: The POV is mainly the hybrid's, the 1st chapter is really a prologue. Human characters aren't as well fleshed out as they should be, dialogue is lacking, and there's a lot of backstory since this is a stand-alone novel in a well0developed world. Also, the situation with the sun-girl is never truly resolved, she should have popped back up at the end and didn't.

Crit Requested: Nit Pick Away. Point out inconsistencies, errors, plot flaws, physical impossibilities, etc. Does the story work in 3rd person, or would it be better in 1st? What needs to be expanded, what needs to be eliminated? Feel free to tell me exactly what you think of every little thing.

Crit Tolerance: Very, very high. I can take anything you can dish out and keep right on trucking. I want a highly detailed nit-picky perfectionist with latent OCD tendencies, okay?

Experience and Goals: This isn't my first novel, though I remain unpublished. I want to revise and polish this one up so it can make the rounds with the rest of it's family.

Method of communication: email is preferred acpaul@cox.net I can also be reached via nano mail.

Disclaimers: This is for a mature, adult audience with imaginations. There is adult content, including gay gang rape (well, they're stallions, but still...).

Title - Elemental Assassin

Length, Draft and Language - 50 K, first draft, English

Brief summary - When three human children come to Aspen’s mountain after the supernatural deaths of their parents, the assassin finds herself in the middle of a conspiracy that leads her to the heart of the Elemental world and to the top members of the Elemental council.

Sub Genre & Keywords - - urban fantasy, mystery, assassins

Known Issues - character development, spelling

Critique Requested - looking for plot holes, want to know if I manage to string the two plots together in the end, is it too obvious at the end?

Critique Tolerance - I've got thick skin. I've been doing this for a quite a while now and haven't found anything that offends me.

Experience & Goals - this is my thrid nano, but I've been writing for better than 15 years. I have published short stories, no novels, but I'm not giving up hope yet.

Method of Communication - nanomail please

Anything else? I will reciprocate if you're interested

Don't piss off the fairies

2006 - Bound - [winner]
2007 - Elemental Assassin
2008 - Elemental Sanity
Soulmate