Excerpt: Blogging Accidents

Blogging is a dangerous hobby. Of course, it's easy to get into. Everyone and their dog has a blog nowadays. No, I'm serious. I have read blogs supposedly by people's dogs before. Waste of space, if you ask me. A worthless clump of hair and mold in the series of tubes. The only blogs worth looking at anymore are the old school professionals. Nikki Finke, Oliver Willis, Kevin Tracy. The ones who show every other poser out there that they know what style is. No cat macros, no pleas for money for their brother's cat's charity, no pimping of flash games, nothing but cold hard facts. And substance. Substance.
I'm an elitist when it comes to other people's blogs. I'm not ashamed of it. It's what people need. They need a connoisseur to tell them what's worth reading and what's total shit. I firmly believe that I have personally saved at least ten blogs from utter oblivion. At least. I have influence that most other bloggers could only dream of. And it doesn't take full page banner ads, or blatant calls to arms. Subtlety is essential. A few “accidental” misquotations (with gently subversive overtones), vague mentions of outlandish causes or religious beliefs, and my followers flock to the source. What? You know what they say – there's no such thing as bad publicity. And they got their attention, didn't they? All's well that ends well.