Excerpt: Death by Swift

‘Why Melbourne?’
‘They have an agreement thing for some of the modules.’
‘Like a student swap.’
‘No, not like a student swap. Like they have a few modules that they can do and we have a few modules that they can do so they exchange a few students to do them.’
‘So like a student swap.’
‘No, not like a student swap.’
‘But you said it is an exchange.’
‘Yes it is an exchange.’
‘Then that is a swap.’
‘No, a swap is different from an exchange.’
‘I do English, a swap and an exchange are the same thing.’
‘I do forensics a swap and an exchange are two different things.’
‘How come? I do not see that? Explain that to me.’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘You are annoying.’
‘I am always annoying, so what's new.’
‘We're in the same country and your brother isn't here to slap you and shut you up.’
‘He doesn't slap me any more. I hit him back now.’
For the first time Joe looked up from his food and looked hard at Jas. ‘Micky doesn't slap you any more?’
‘Micky hasn't slapped since I broke his nose with a kick box move.’
‘You broke his nose? He didn't tell me.’
‘Doesn't mean I didn't do it.’
‘I didn't say that you didn't do it.’
‘Sounded like it to me.’
‘Might have sounded like it to you doesn't mean that I meant it that way.’
‘Well what way did you mean it?’
‘I meant it like, Micky didn't tell me you broke his nose.’
‘Well why would he not tell you that I broke his nose? He was in Singapore last summer, didn't you notice his nose is crooked now?’
‘Nope.’
‘Huh, some police man you'll make if you can't spot a broken nose.’
‘Was it broken last summer?’
‘No. I broke it two Christmases ago.’
‘So it was healed by last summer?’
‘Yeah it was healed by last summer.’
‘So it was not broken last summer?’
‘No I just told you. I broke it the Christmas before.’
‘So he did not have a broken nose last summer?’
‘His nose had healed last summer.’
‘So why would I notice a not broken nose?’
‘Because it was a broken nose.’
‘But it was not broken. You just said it healed.’
‘It was still broken.’
‘Not if it was healed.’
‘It was healed but it was not fixed. It was permanently damaged.’
‘You didn't say it was not fixed, you said it was broken.’
‘Not fixed is the same as broken.’
‘No it is not.’
‘Yes it is.’
‘No, it isn’t.’
‘Yes, it is.’
‘No it isn’t.’
‘Have you finished.’
‘Finished what? Arguing or supper?’
‘It is not an argument.’
‘Yes it is.’
‘Y and Z had an argument we are having a discussion.’
‘Y and Z had a row, were are having an argument.’
‘No we are not.’
‘My argument is that Micky’s nose was not broken last summer. Your argument is that Micky’s nose was not fixed last summer. That is an argument.’
‘Do you want to help me do the dishes?’
‘No.’
‘Do you want to have a row?’
‘No.’
‘Do you want to help me do the dishes?’
It took a beat or two and then he said, “Okay. I’ll wash you dry.’