Synopsis: American Standard

The two main characters of American Standard are Rob Marlo and Nora Black. These are the two absolute worst characters I could ever work with. They exist in a satirical/hysterical flat version of 1990s America.

Rob Marlo is a tentative 90s alternative rock star parody. He is the epitome of “flat character” in my mind. I am not even sure that I can work with him. His past is a blank to me. His present and future are ambiguous at best. His name is an anagram a friend of mine created from a popular cigarette brand. The unfortunate thing about Rob Marlo is that he is a psychic alien vampire. And possibly also Jesus Christ. He only kind of resembles various 90s and 70s rock/pop icons. He is the leader of a band known as The Star Children.

Nora Black is, if possible, worst. She is the ultimate Mary Sue. She runs the risk of being based way too heavily on the person I was as a teenager. Part of the reason for this is the distance I feel, but there are also more sinister elements at work. Nora’s name is a bad joke meaning something along the lines of “black black.” She is a teenage girl who falls for Rob Marlo. She might also be a psychic alien vampire. I’m not sure yet.

American Standard is a bad romance novel. It is imperative that Rob Marlo and Nora Black, after lots of painful unrequited sexual tension, have copious amounts of explicit, deviant sex. Both with each other and other people.

The purpose of this novel is to serve as a dumping ground for every over-idealized sentiment which I have ever held as well as for the toxic waste that comprised my formative years. I have to write all of these boring, trite, pointless, banal, overly romantic things in order that they will leave me alone. Fortunately, I am feeling a lot of the same stupid things that as I felt as a teenager currently so the overlap might be more than anticipated.

I promise myself several things in relation to this novel:
- I will not worry about being too autobiographical.
- I will not worry about not conforming to reality.
- I will not worry about my characters being flat/unrealistic.
- I will not worry about having literary merit.
- I will not worry about using unrealistic, hackneyed devices to get through a scene.
- I will include as many things about the 90s and about myself that I dislike as possible.
- I give myself permission to be silly.