Excerpt: Wall of Dead Unicorns

The Prologue of the Paladin

Long ago, in a kingdom far away, there was a perfect baby boy born to a perfect family. He grew up to be one of the greatest knights in all the land, if not the greatest. Sir Dom Von Grazerhorn rose to the ranks of the Paladins of the Uncharted Roads and Avenues, as one of the foremost protectors of the country of Opal Ridge, steeped in religion and known as one of the holiest places in the world. Dom was a skilled in the sword, the axe, cavalry, archery, clubbery, spear-thrusting, net-throwing, fishery, painting, singing and all sorts of other wondrous gifts. At the tender age of fifteen, he rescued his first princess, storming the gates of the foul Baron Shakheart and slaying the corrupt warrior with a training sword, bashing his skull in and besting him in combat with the ease of a seasoned swordsman.

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Rax interrupted. “The Baron was asleep. He killed a sleeping man.”
“Excuse me,” Clinzo put his hands on his hips. “Please do not interrupt. I’m telling a story. And no, he did not kill him in his sleep. It was a duel to the death.”
Rax muttered something and closed his eyes again.
“Please, continue,” Fussy waved his hand to Clinzo.
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Dom having saved this princess, was honored across Opal Ridge. Everywhere he went he greeted with cheers and adulation. He was truly a grand hero. Entering more intense training, he was taken in by the great knights of Old Khaemer, namely the superb hero of the Blazing Goat Wars, Lord Ames Vel Jarns. Ames enhanced Dom’s ability to the point where the student had surpassed the master. Dom was dancing circles around Ames so the lord gave him his blessing and sent him out on his first official adventure at sixteen.
Dom, along with a young barbarian warrior, Kritz Eye-Eater, went on a mission to kill the Flaming Cat of Binzar-Pek. The Flaming Cat was causing all sorts of problems in the northern villages of Khaemer, still reliant heavily on farming. The Flaming Cat burned several villages down, and it was up to Dom and Kritz to put a stop to the menace. Kritz was a quiet fellow, but strong, and would later go on to have many adventures himself. Dom was the leader, that was for sure, and before coming upon the Flaming Cat, they fought off some raiding goblins from Sheeb. The goblins were fierce, strong and fanatical, but Dom and Kritz whirled their blades, dicing the goblins into small cubes and kicking their bodies into shallow graves (Dom was very holy). The goblins kept coming though. Waves and waves of bodies broke upon the rocks that were Dom’s blade and Kritz’s mighty bastard sword. Flesh was flayed, arms and legs were severed, guts spilled so heavy that Dom and Kritz had to wade through the mess, their legs tangling in the spindly innards, squishing and pulsing with blood.

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“Ok, that’s gross,” Rax spoke up again. “I’d appreciate it also if you left goblins out of your tale. I don’t talk about humans getting slaughtered.”
“Yes, you do,” Fussy said.
“Oh, yeah, I do,” Rax gave an embarrassed smile. “Nice work so far. If you can gross me out you’re doing a good job.”
“Please,” Clinzo held his hand up. “I’m never going to finish if you keep stepping in.”
“It’s kind of fun that way,” Fussy stroked his beard.
“Whatever,” Clinzo tried to sweep back his hair, to no effect. “Like I was saying…”

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So after drenching their boots in the gore of the goblins, leaving a trail of blood for miles and miles, they came across the small village of Fishton. Fishton was a small fishing village, but this day the village smelled of broiled fish. The Flaming Cat had been there, torching the straw-thatch roofs that so many of these small villages had.
In short, Dom and Kritz came upon the Flaming Cat, perched on the ashes of the villagers and several straw-thatched homes. Dead everywhere. Dom wept for the children mostly. The dead children.
So, Dom found this sword made of ice on the ground and he picks it up and slices into the Flaming Cat. It screams a hideous scream as Kritz tries to keep it at bay as well by holding up a burnt door as a shield. The Flaming Cat breathed flame and clawed at them with its burning claws, but they were too quick, too strong. Dom cut its head off and it exploded.
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“Right, that’s what happened,” Rax laughed.
“It did,” Clinzo clinched his fist. “Shut up.”
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