Excerpt: Walking backwards in old shoes(working title)

Kelsey was greeted by Sly in bare feet, a pair of loose cutoffs and a tank top that was originally one colour or another, but had been spread at nearly every part of her front with a different colour of paint. A rainbow of stray droplets that suited her friend like they would no one else. It was something she loved about her, with her soft wispy black hair, pulled back and pinned with a pencil or paintbrush, her large carefully tipped dark almond shaped eyes, forgiving eyes, and pretty face. She was everything that their other best friend Molly was not. Shy, introverted, dependable, Kelsey saw her passed over by the world at times, because she was never loud, or overtly beautiful. Mostly, she seemed hidden away in her quiet confidence and independence. But she knew, of anyone in the world, she needed Sly the most, as a shoulder, for a companionable silence when she didn’t want to be alone, or an ear because she seemed so incapable of judgment. Like now. She sought out Molly, for fun, and excitement, and adventure, to be the voice of all the things you never wanted to hear but sometimes Kelsey craved the kind, easy way of Sly. As she looked at her best friend now she saw the worried look on her face, and realized what a mess she must have seemed, with yesterdays old clothes, and tired from running away from her house, confused and stressed and angry at life all at once. “I need to talk” was all she could say, and even that was enough. Sly nodded lightly, pushing open the door widely, and leading the way to her room. The house was small, and Kelsey remembered every part of it, pretty little kitchen, a sunny back porch, always smelling like fresh flowers. She remembered family dinners, and found herself wishing for the simplicity of childhood once again. When they reached Sly’s room, she was shocked, as she often was about the sheer beauty of it. It was tiny, and cramped, but every surface was covered in art, a large, colourful mural of an imagined world over her bed, a line of black and white prints hanging from one wall to the other, developed in her makeshift closet darkroom, and everywhere were paints, and brushes, her cameras and sketches. Kelsey smiled despite herself as she settled on one end of the bed, her friend on the other. “Sly, I think I am in trouble. I did something, and I can hardly believe I did it, and I wouldn’t believe it at all if I didn’t still feel it on every part of me. I just, I want everything to make sense, and it doesn’t.” “Kel, nothing ever makes perfect sense. If it did we would never have anything to wonder about. It’s not about knowing if something makes sense, it’s why you did it, you know.”
Kelsey frowned, her brown eyes fixed on a picture of a daisy hanging from the clothesline, and concentrated on the sharp edges and the deeply contrasting shadows that obscured half of it in darkness. “I don’t know why I did it. It just felt kind of, I know it sounds stupid” She said, running a hand through her hair and pressing her eyes closed against the fresh memories. “But it felt like I didn’t get to decide what to do. It was going to happen, whether I wanted to or not. Not that I was resisting. I couldn’t have done that if I tried” Sly sat cross legged, watching Kelsey out of the corner of her eyes, but said nothing, just nodded and waited for her to continue. It was Sly’s way, patient. Kelsey knew she was as unable to keep this from her, as she had been helpless, or unwilling to stop her actions hours before. “I went, and I knew I shouldn’t have gone. But, I kept feeling like there was something I had to do…someone maybe, I needed to find.” She shifted uncomfortably, trying to figure out how to untwist the events into something manageable, something she could describe. “So I went, and I found her” Kelsey let her eyes open a fraction of an inch, and looked over at Sly, to gauge her response. She had reclined now, into the pile of soft pillows, her face still tilted towards Kelsey’s listening. She didn’t look, surprised, or curious, or mad. She just looked, still and listening. “And, I don’t know what I was thinking, but she asked me to go with her, and I followed. To some stupid, run down building” Even as she spoke the words about the building, she remembered the stars and the cool air, and she cringed inside. It wasn’t just a run down building, but she couldn’t bear to make it mean anything but that to her. “It was a nice night” Kelsey’s head snapped up instinctively, sometimes Sly was so quiet that she almost became a part of the surroundings, and her voice was nearly too loud for her stillness and her intent listening. “It was a nice night. It was something about the night maybe. Because, I can hardly believe it was something I wanted to do or chose, consciously anyway. But I couldn’t make myself stop. And by the time I figured out that maybe I was in too deep, I didn’t want to stop.” Kelsey leaned back on the bed, so that her curled legs came just short of Sly’s and their heads pointed in opposite directions, both facing the ceiling. “I was so unlike me. When I woke up, I felt so stupid, so out of place. And she was just sitting there, like it was normal, like I shouldn’t feel like my mind was racing in a thousand different directions, and my heart was pounding in my chest, and that all I wanted to do was either run away or never leave.”
Kelsey sighed, and sat back up to study Sly’s face. She caught her friends eyes with her own. “I ran, by the way. Obviously. It was probably what I should have done from the start.” Sly sat up until she faced Kelsey, both cross legged and reached across the distance ruffling Kelsey’s hair and wrinkling her nose before settling back to take her in “You had one hell of a night. No wonder you felt like running home” Kelsey gave a quick, sarcastic smile. She was right to find Sly. Sometimes it felt like she was the only one who could make things better. “I feel like an alien, or like I just sprouted two heads. One of which has even messier hair now that you’ve finished with it. I didn’t really need any help with that.” Sly laughed easily as she cocked her head to the side to size up her friend. “Just like you’ve sprouted two heads? Sweetie you’ve been walking around with two heads since the day you were born, I hate to be the one to tell you that. You are strange, just like the rest of us. We are all weird, bizarre, awkward aliens walking around in human suits. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others. Welcome to life” “You are an idiot Sly” Kelsey said grinning and shoving playfully at the paint covered shoulder across from her. “Seriously, I think I might be going crazy. Or something” “I would go with or something Kel” “Shut up you, but yeah. I know what you mean.” Kelsey paused, becoming serious for a second, face sobering some. “Aren’t you like, finding this weird, or surprised, shocked, unexpected? Even a bit curious?” Sly raised a single dark eyebrow. “Weirded out? No. Surprised, a bit, I never took you for the random hookup type. Shocked, definitely not. Unexpected, not really. Curious, well, kind of. Can I ask who she is?” Kelsey blushed and put her face in her hands with an exaggerated groan. “I can’t believe you aren’t surprised, or creeped out even in the least, or something. I feel like I am ready to puke, or pass out or something. Die. Die and wake up to this being a strange, if extremely detailed and realistic dream” She paused letting her hands fall to her lap. “Laurel” Sly raised an eyebrow and let the corner of her mouth quirk up, her face painted with interest. “Don’t look at me like that Sly!” Kelsey said muffling another exasperated sigh in her hands, face crimson at the cheeks and eyes squinted shut. “C’mon Kel, of course I am going to look at you like that. Seriously? Laurel. I mean, I’m not shocked that, you know, she would go for that sort of thing. But I didn’t even know you talked. Or I guess you weren’t all about the talking either…” She let her words trail as a giggle bubbled up her throat. “Sorry Kel, it’s just that you look so embarrassed and it doesn’t matter. Not to me. Ok, well it matters, but only because it matters to you and you are my best friend” She picked up a small red pillow frayed at the edged and tossed it lightly at Kelsey, who batted it away before letting out her own laugh. “It’s hard to believe that you are not even, curious. Or anything I know that I can trust you, and that you love me unconditionally, but I was expecting, I don’t know, more of a reaction.” Sly picked up the pillow and hugged it into her lap as she smiled carefully at Kelsey. “Curious, always. But you are right. I completely adore you and Molly, and nothing is ever going to change that. Especially not this. Like I said, I am not surprised. There are worse things in the world, and trust me, I’m pretty sure they don’t feel so great while you are figuring them out” “Shuddup Sly, you pervert!” Kelsey said between laughs and grabbed the pillow from her smacking her shoulder with it lightly. “Oh come, on, it’s true. Now sweetheart, you have to figure out what you want to do about it.”