Romantic talk needed

Well, one thing you could do is for C to bring her a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of her favorite wine, confirm a date for dinner, theater, etc. This would set the tone of their dialogue about not having seen each other for two months. Also it shows that C has paid attention to her without her noticing it.

"Roses!" A gasped. "You remembered my favorite flowers!"

C smiled sheepishly. "I did."

The scene would need a lot of gestures from both A and C—glancing at each other or they could hug, kiss, etc. to express their feelings for each other. Depending on whose pov it is, you could show the MC (A or C) reaction when they finally see face-to-face.

Mine, I injected humor into my characters' dialogues to disguise their feelings for each other until they both feel comfortable the say the L word.

I hope this helps.

Julia

First off, avoid the flowery language. Some of the most moving scenes do not have flowery words in them, but are raw and honest and involve facial expressions and gestures. Your characters shouldn't change their language just for the romance. They need to say the same things they would always say.

Well, you said they left on bad terms, so I think it would be interesting for your typically talkative, upbeat A to be totally unsure of himself. Play it like a role reversal. She's so happy to see him again that she's being more open with him, while he's so upset that she f--ked it all up two months ago and he's having trouble being open with C again for fear of being hurt.

Here's how I envision it:

C: "A! You're here."
A (stiffly, lacking depth of emotion): "Hi C. How have you been?"
C: "I-well, I've been- (runs hand through hair) Good, I've been good. I..I missed you. How have you been?"
A (gives her a look): "You missed me?"
C (nervous that she's trying to be open now): "Well, you know, it was like, 'where's A? I bet he'd find this funny," you know... that kind of missing-my-partner-thing... (looks at A and realizes he isn't reacting to her words at all). Er, at least, I guess." (Ends sentence lamely, now horribly embarrassed and hating herself for ever deciding to be 'open' about her emotions. Stupid self, she thinks!)
A (softly, almost threatening with his serious tone): "You guess?"
C (looks away, eyes gliding anywhere but his face. long silence, then sucks in breath, mentally reminding herself "honesty, honesty, honesty". Then meets his eyes.): "I'm sorry." Sentence here about complicated storyline you couldn't explain, like: "I never meant to betray you when I accidentally blew up that super-huge satellite dish in Mexico and sent those maurading guerillas after you. It was a huge mistake. And I- (looks down at hands) I never meant to drive you away." (looks up into his eyes again, beseeching) "A, I'm not good at this. But I need you to know.. (moves closer to him) I need you to know that I care about you more than I have cared about anyone else before. And the thought that I could be losing you has kept me awake at night for two months." (looks down and breaths out, then quickly meets his eyes again, fearful and just a wee bit teary. A reaches out and grabs her shoulders gently, his head tilted down to meet her eyes): C... (pauses, then hugs her fiercely) Oh, C. (He whispers in her ear) You'll never lose me. I'm like the worst of bad pennies. I'll just keep turning up again."
(They hug for a moment, and then C laughs shakily in his arms and gently extricates herself from him to wipe her face with the back of her hand.)

After this big climatic moment, C should revert to her less emotional ways, and punch his arm or something for saying something so silly and because she's so happy to see him she has no idea how to let it all out. They should joke a bit to relax and then move on to the next mission at hand.

The NEXT emotional, the "I think I love you" moment should come from him, but it should NOT be at this juncture. If I knew more about your storyline or could read your story I'd tell you where the scene should go. Frankly, I think that because this was such a big emotional scene, the next one should be more along the lines of, "wow, we are really close and I think my hormones are going out of control because all I want to do is eat you up..only said in a much better way than that.) Maybe have them do something super dangerous and then let him get a little out of control physically, pull back because he realizes he's over the line, and then have her push back and be like, "no, I want you...now."

Hope that helps!

I agree that the flowery language should be left out. That's a little too cliche, which is sometimes a problem with romance novels/scenes. Even if he tends to use that kind of language when flirting, if his love for her is pure, I think he might tend to be more natural about things. Experiment a little bit. Let the characters talk for you. Sometimes writing a scene a couple times might help, especially if it's an important one to the story. Dialogue can be tricky sometimes, especially if you want it to be believable. The problem sometimes is dialogue being way too fake; you want your characters to be "real". Act the scene out yourself to get a feel for it. I find that helps me out if I'm having trouble. I would be more than happy to help out more if you needed it. Feel free to nanomail me if you'd like further help! That's what we're all here for!

Oooh gosh mission I loved just reading that little sample scene you wrote up, it's so sweet!!

First to horsechild: I agree with what's been said before, don't use flowery language if the characters don't normally speak that way. Honest emotions are often a bit plain sounding, because it all comes down to the gestures, the intonation, the looks... there's thousands of ways to say "I missed you" that mean lots of different things. And admitting honest, raw feelings can be painful and difficult for the character to put into words... they might even say something like.. "I missed you more than I ever thought I could miss someone... I've never felt so bereft before... " or "I didn't realize, until you left... how empty things would feel when you're not around." There are various ways.

And to mission, I feel like tabling my relationship questions here if horsechild don't mind :P
Perhaps, if it isn't too much trouble, you could help me a little with mine (no need to write the scene, but I need an idea to pull their feelings out!)... My characters are in a slightly similar situation. I have incidentally A, and D. A is a female from mixed heritage, living in a society of purebloods who even though she's been raised like them, fights for them and they trust her, they are still a little on edge that she might someday snap and switch sides to their enemy. To make up for that she acts even more "pure" than most, but she can't control her strong attraction to D.

Their society is very repressed, strict and controlled, no touching, no physical contact outside of mates, and D represents the epitome of the culture. He is also very attracted to A (because she's his mate) but because of what she is, and what it would mean to be with her, he refuses to acknowledge it. He's a bit of a prude and he doesn't like that he has such elemental instincts toward A.

A feels attracted to D and channels that into anger because she knows D can't ever accept her. I'm just trying to figure out when they snap, who would snap first, how can I get them to get it all out? They so far have had moments full of tension, and a lot going on in their expressions and gestures, but they're far from admitting anything openly or making any changes in their relationship with each other.

I'm wondering if I should have her snap, and under her "onslaught" D can't help but reciprocate? But it will be a long, tough road for them to completely get together in all senses of the word.

Hi Artisteri! I'm glad you liked the really rough scene I wrote up. After I wrote it, I was like..."hmmm, bad penny quote is good" and then hid it in my "book o' future ideas and crap."

As for your story, I really like the concept. Now, if I am following this right, he is the one who is more uptight, while she tries really hard to act "pure" but often ends up feeling like she sucks at life because she just can't measure up.

Let's get to the point first: HE needs to snap. He's the prude, the one who is fighting these feelings for her, and because he can't acknowledge all of this, it is keeping him up at night.

You mentioned that SHE is the one who is angry about her attraction to him because he won't accept her, but I'm wondering if perhaps it makes more sense that he would be mad at her? If you are fighting feelings you have toward someone, or are trying to make yourself hate that person when you really like them, you might spend your time picking out every itty bitty flaw. Does he treat her in a condescending or rude manner? Is he openly hostile? He's trying to turn this love into hate and push her away.

I can see her being angered by his hostility toward her, and in return being pissed off at him for consistently being condescending, or rude toward her. I see her anger more as a response toward his anger, then as an attraction. LATER, she can channel her attraction into anger toward him because he won't accept her, but before they have the big physical clash she should be more angry about his overbearing mannerisms. She can continue being attracted to him, I'm not suggesting you change anything in that department, but her anger comes from a source of frustration toward his arrogance, while his comes from feeling something toward her he shouldn't feel.

Sorry if I'm saying anything here you already know, but it helps for me to write out exactly what the characters are thinking and feeling, whether you knew it or not already. Naturally, I don't know his personality, so if I've used any adjectives that don't describe him accurately (like arrogant) please ignore.

Now that I've talked about who is angry at whom and why here, we can get back to the "snapping" part of the evening. I suggest they start to argue in private. It can be at an event, like an evening formal gala, or perhaps some sort of official ceremony...or it can be at the end of some evening where they were thrown together with friends. You'll know the scene. But their argument can start to escalate. She gets frustrated at him because he's being so obviously prejudiced toward her idiotic "impurity" and should goad him.

She could goad him in a few different ways. One would be akin to the ancient "he's-touching-me!" syndrome, where she starts walking or slithering around him in an attempt to infuriate him by letting her impure body "almost' touch him. It doesn't even have to be sexy, just the thoughts he'll be thinking inside will make the scene race. And in this type of scene, he's got to jump her before she starts feeling her own body react too much his, because once she consciously realizes she's turned on by her actions she'll lose control of the "tempting" him scene, get awkward, and back off.

Another way could be her being emotional with him. I'm assuming that she's hidden her emotions from him because he's a jackass to her, and therefore if he pushes too hard in private, she'll crack. So have him push, and her push back, and then finally lose it. She should be yelling at him, and him yelling back, and then she could find herself mortified and in tears. He's horrified, of course, that he's been that horrible, and when he tries to approach her to comfort or apologize somehow, she should be in a "don't-touch" mood. He'll get angry that she is being so ...whatever...and, angry, he'll grab her arm and tell her to get a grip, stop crying. She'll be angry that he's so insensitive (sorry A, men suck with emotions) and yell back, trying to jerk away, maybe push him. The physicality of this situation will lead to him trying to stop her tears and fighting with kisses. Ugh. Men are so predictable. If I had a dollar for every time a man thought that he could fix tears with kisses... :) Again, this only works if he has the personality for it.

Either way, I like the idea that she's furious at him one second and hot, bothered and baffled the next when he "snaps" and starts "sexily" mauling her. Giggle. Just what I've always wanted, to be "sexily" mauled.

Actually, I think the first scene would work better for a first "snap," while the second scene would work better later on in their romance. Also, I just remembered that Eloisa James has a great pair of characters that remind me of yours. She spreads their romance out over several books as side characters, but the one where they are at odds because of his prudishness toward her irrespectability is called "Duchess in Love." The characters are Esme and Sebastian, and while she's a lot softer than your heroine, it might inspire you. Or not, either way.

Good luck!

I`m usually over in the fantasy forums as well, but... well, once char decided to become totally besotted with a female MC.

Anyway. I think your female char would flip a little between being honest and being withdrawn because honesty is so unusual to her. Like, she beams at him when she sees him, then her face falls because she remembers how she treated him. And he, of course, doesn`t know what to make of this.

But you asked for talk and I guess with that go things to talk about. Hmm. When they talk about what each of them did those past months, each could slip in a comment like "Back then, I thought if you were here, you´d laugh" or so, just to show they`ve thought about each other, without the need to really say it.

I totally agree, don't add in flowery language if that isn't how your characters usually speak. Have them stay in character, have them display the real emotions they are feeling, have them stumble over words and say the wrong thing.

Also, make it specific. "You're so beautiful, I missed you so much" versus, "I missed the way your hair sticks up at the back"... or something... maybe he doesn't bring her roses, but brings her violets or a bottle of her favourite beer... quirky, personal things that he knows about her where maybe no one else dos. It is IMO more real if you make it specific to the character, not generic compliments and gifts.

Oh wow mission, another fantastic post! I'm sorry this came late, but my novel looks like it'll go way over the 50000 mark (or perhaps even 100000) before it finishes! So I have yet to write the snapping scene, and will take everything into account.

And yes it's great that you wrote it all out, because it is what I was thinking but somehow had trouble putting into words. You've got them down pat! I love your suggestions, and the combination of the anger/heated argument turning sexual (sexual mauling sounds good ;) I love the concept!)

You're right, he needs to snap first, and I have written several interactions of them where it is just as you described, he is attracted to her but angry at this fact so he nitpicks, chastises, puts her down and pushes her away. She has feelings for him but is angry at the way he treats her and rightfully assumes it means he doesn't give a crap about her. Except for a couple isolated moment, where he lets some tenderness and affection for her show, but then he completely turns that around by insulting her twice over in return. (a scene where he tries to console her, she starts feeling a little better and asking him why, and he tells her "you don't have anyone to help you and no one can care for you" essentially. :P Cue angry A).

All of those adjectives describe him to a T too. I like the idea of using both scenes, first the argument that snaps with the goading, it's perfect for her temperament and disposition too. I can suddenly see it all happening!

Thanks so much for the ideas :) You're a huge help!

I think the emotional scene would work well for a lot later, when they're embroiled in the dangerous stuff that's going to sweep A out of her comfort zone and really put things on the line for both of them. You're correct in assuming she hides her emotions from him because he's a jackass, and it will be good for him to finally see a lot of what she's hidden inside welling up. Fixing tears with kisses hehe... he has the right personality for it too, because even though he dislikes his attraction to her, he also has a sort of feeling of responsibility, to ensure her well being and when it comes down to it and he realizes that he's the one who's been making her miserable... along come the kisses :P

I actually read Duchess in Love, though it was a little while ago so I'm going to go dig it out and open it again. That series had a lot of couples so I'm trying to think which one was Sebastian... was he the one that ended up masquerading as her gardener? I do love that series a lot, and I hadn't realized the parallels, thanks!