Okay, I'll have to admit...this is the first sex scene I've written during a NaNoWriMo. I know, I know, how did I manage that, right? :P
Well, my sex scene is between two men and even I'm getting confused with which 'HE' I'm writing about. "He did this then he did that and then he did this and he felt that and he touched this and he fondled that."
Besides writing their names down, each time, what other way can I write this? I never realized how gender helps identify characters in stories. A lot of the time when you say HE you're talking about the one male in the room, esp. during sex scenes.
I'm even a gay man and I'm flustered with this.
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91,735 / 50,000
Nov 27, 2008 - 02 45
Don't worry, I think it's a common problem :) Try giving them adjectives? the younger man, the shorter man, the black haired... etc etc
just don't overuse it... it's okay to use their names here and there!
15,117 / 50,000
Nov 27, 2008 - 02 53
I agree with Myth720. Descriptors are the savior of the same gender sex scene writer. Age, hair and eye color, skin tones or nationalities if they differ, even occupation can work. "The blond/half brit/detective did such and such to the black haired/japanese/magician..." for example.
Good luck! As a veteran of those scenes, I know it's hard.
42,040 / 50,000
Nov 27, 2008 - 03 14
Great ideas. I like them, as well, do to the simple fact that saying 'the young brit' adds three words in place of the one 'he'. :D
52,496 / 50,000
Nov 27, 2008 - 03 50
I go by what Lars Eighner says in his book "Elements of Arousal: How to Write and Sell Gay Men's Erotica" - I can't put my hands on the book right now (it's around here somewhere...) so I'm not quoting, but he warns pretty strongly against using those descriptive phrases too much. He insists There's nothing wrong with using your character's names frequently, especially if it helps with clarity. It's actually a good thing to use their names a lot, keeps the reader in touch with the individual characters.
I wish I could find the book, he explains it so much better than I can from memory. One thing I do know is that using phrases like "the dark haired man" "the taller man" etc. has become a huge cliche in fanfiction now, so... don't overdo it!
67,005 / 50,000
Nov 27, 2008 - 12 13
Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. I wrote my first ever threesome a few days ago and briefly stumbled over the pronoun problem. But I just shrugged and figured I'd use their names. It worked out well, as it helped maintain the intimacy. I mean, I can't imagine writing a het scene and using phrases like "the woman" and "the man." That's just silly. :-) Unless of course it's some kind of anonymous encounter.
50,400 / 50,000
Nov 29, 2008 - 11 19
I agree, go with the names. the descriptors get old and annoying fast. Which isn't to say don't use them at all, but use them very sparingly.
54,848 / 50,000
Nov 29, 2008 - 11 45
I write a lot of menages - trois, quatre - it gets confusing with so many guys! I use names and then a few of the descriptive phrases. The trick is to trace back to which "he" you're talking about and not switch between them too much.
So if I have Guy A doing something, I'll stick with him for a bit, describing what "he" is doing. Then I'll switch to Guy B and use the generic "he" for a him a little while. Then move on to whoever else. When switching between them, establish who "he" is by using his name.
The descriptive phrase is useful, but overuse ends up souding purple prose-ish, so use sparingly.
Good luck!
B.