Greed and Nobility
^^ Working title. Hush.
Length... just barely over 50,000 words. First rough raw draft.
Summary: In a universe dominated by greed and corruption, several characters break free of the mold that holds them down and escape into parallel worlds, running into each other and eventually forming an army searching for change, fighting against the greed of slavery.
Sub-genre? I wouldn't even really know. It has dragons and centaurs, if that makes a difference.
Known Issues - I know it's rough. There's perhaps nearly a quarter of the story that just doesn't exist at the moment. I know that the POV changes are kinda difficult to follow through a lot of it and that sometimes things just happen without explination. That doesn't mean I don't want these things pointed out to me though.
Critique Requested - I'd really like to have advice on how to solidify my characters... they're well formed in my head, but I'm not sure how good they are in actuality.
Critique Tolerance - I can handle critique as rough as it can be. Even if I'm told it's a steaming heap, that's fine. I'd just like some constructive criticism.
Experience & Goals - this is my first complete novel. I'm not sure if this has enough potential to have goals yet or not, but we'll see.
Method of Communication - I'll email or chat or whatever anyone prefers, but I do have to say that I love snail-mail marked-up craziness. It just completes me.
Anything else? nope. Any interest would be appreciated. I suppose I should also say that I will read anyone's novel as long as they are willing to read mine. So it can go back and forth, haha.
Thanks!
--Kai Jenski
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56,946 / 50,000
Dec 1, 2008 - 13 12
Hi Kai,
I'd be willing to critique your novel in exchange for your critique of mine. I posted an excerpt of the first page of my story, if you want to take a look and see if it's something you wouldn't mind slogging through. Let me know, and then we can decide how we want to handle the critiques. I'm fine with marked up snail mail copies as well.
For mine, it's a rough draft, about 57k, and it's a young adult fantasy novel. You can be as harsh as you want critique-wise. In fact, the harsher the better. Mostly what I'm concerned about is character development, and whether or not my characters seem realistic, especially in regards to age. Also, if the plot makes no sense or is boring, I'd like to know, too. I'm sure there are going to be some inconsistencies since I wrote it on the fly without an outline or anything like that. So, any advice or comments would be much appreciated.
Alright, let me know what you think. Thanks!
-Heidi