x-posted in http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/node/3144399
Title:
Dead Man's Party
Length, Draft, Language:
approx 65k, 1st draft, English
Summary:
Camila Montenegro is a mage and a paranormal investigator, born in Europe, but living in an unnamed city in the states, and the head of a corporation (Hunters Inc.) that makes their business by solving supernatural problems. The story opens with a complex mission given to the firm by the US government, to investigate a party at a ski lodge that ended in a gruesome manner -- and to which they cannot find a scientific explanation to.
The book is mostly centered on the investigation, but a few of the protagonist's own issues and past come back to haunt her, and she has to juggle her own troubles with the complexities of her job.
Sub.Genre:
Urban fantasy, Paranormal investigation
Known Issues:
- I'm not a native english speaker, which will certainly affect my language, also due to my tendency to at times use Portuguese sentence structures. Such as "Which means that..." which I use to exhaustion.
- I am quite good at "writing from the hip" which means my inner editor slept during the entire Nano, therefore, be ready to find a lot of repeated words and stupid mistakes.
- I really wanted to finish the novel (and not only reaching 50k), which means that the final part of it is visibly a rush job to try to get the story closed.
- The verbal tenses change after the first two chapters: I had begun in present, then shifted to past. Later on the novel, there are passages that shift to the present, but that is a deliberate change, meant to represent a shift in the location of the action.
- There are possibly a lot of "Tell" instead of "Show" moments, because I needed to decide how magic and the supernatural worked, and I wound up disserting on them far too much, as I determined the setting and the Mythos. Also, the terms referring to "ley lines" shift back and forth: Ley-lines, Ley Lines, 'lines, Dragon Veins\Arteries.
- The setting-specific jargon was in all likelihood shifted back and forth, and very likely different terms are used for the same thing, due to my distraction alone.
Critique Requested:
Grammar and lexicon critiques are quite welcome, as are suggestions concerning how the plot can be made more solid and less like feeling like a rush job, as well as removal\adding of scenes..
Ditto for character criticism, although I think I managed to give a good development, despite having a huge amount of secondary characters dancing in and out (That was actually deliberate, as I wanted to shatter the ages old cliché of the lonely, hard as nails urban fantasy heroine, and instead go for someone who relies a lot on allies, and is a team player).
Critique Tolerance:
I'm actually quite capable of taking strong and direct criticism, but I ask that it has some content to it, as well as suggestions for improvement (ie. "It sucks just because I say so" won't help me improve it.) Nit-picking is also appreciated because greatness is in the details.
Experience & Goals
My first novel ever. Really. I never underwent such a huge writing project, although I started quite a few. My writing experience is limited to schoowork reports, fanfiction for several genres (namely RPGs like Vampire, Legend of the Five Rings, or games like City of Heroes), and play-by-forum roleplay. Which means I have a lack of knowledge of how to write long plots -- most of my writing has been short stories or cooperative writing.
Method of Communication:
Email or MSN , you can reach me through lasombra_prim@hotmail.com. If you add me on MSN, please send a note saying you're from NanoWrimo, so I can put you on the proper group.
I'm fine with notes through Nanowrimo too.
Currently, my novel sits on a badly formated .doc, but I'll upload it to Google Notes, for easier reference, should you prefer.
Anything else?
I tried to avoid making this yet another "Paranormal Romance Where Every Male Falls In Love With Protagonist", but she has the attention of many of the male characters, who, in fact, have no feelings for her, but plan to use her for their own advantage -- and seducing her is the fastest way to do it. The problem is that since this is in a 1st person POV, the protagonist is totally not aware of their intentions, and has to judge them at face value.
I am a romantic at heard, but I tried to downplay romance to try to avoid this pitfall of "Protagonist Fanclub". Suggestions on how to get more romance without it becoming a Fanclub Fest would be highly appreciated.
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