Overheard Dialogue- unnecessary, unwanted, and funny as heck!

'I can tell its working because its vibrating.'

>.> One can only wonder.

"To whoever is writing 'vah-jay-jay' instead of 'Virginia' on their U.S. history notes. . . please stop."

said in casual conversation: "so, i assumed a god form last night."

for some reason, i always thought that joke only worked with west virginia.

I'm sure I left a few of these in the old thread, but....

"Sugar cookies are fine. You guys are freaks!"

"No, you don't take iced tea when you're dead!"

(Said despairingly) "I have rat toes."

"You can't have a conga line with only one person!"

"Sugar cookies are fine. You guys are freaks!"

You did indeed leave that one :p
I know all. xD
Or i just remember cause i'm sad like that :/

Something from a conversation with my flatmate last night

"I think I get my attitude from my cat..."

My cat has a "get out of my way or die" attitude and i seem to adopt it when im angry, or generally being evil.

Heard in the hallway at school:

Girl 1: "Wanna take the elevator?"

Girl 2: "But it says, 'Authorized Personnel.'"

Girl 1: "What does that mean?"

Girl 2: "I don't know. Foreign?"

Girl 1: "Don't be racist!"

*facepalm*

(said by a pagan to some goths on the bus ... in reference to the Necronomicon)

"If you can buy it at Borders, just how good do you think it's going to be?"

"I have the anti-mohawk."
(said by bald man) .

"I totally thought baboon was a plant..."
"That's bamboo."
"Isn't that a monkey?"

"It would have been better if her pants hadn't been missing..."

"Into the woods! There's no easy way!"

"I set my desk on fire once. The kids were afraid."

"So, apparently, if metal stays on my body too long it disintegrates!"

"When she said I was too old too joke around like that I wanted to ask "Aren't you too old to have braces?""

"Don't get any ideas."
"About what? The guns or having babies?"
"Either."

I'm pretty sure I've left this one somewhere before:

Tech Guy: Hey, has anyone seen a flashlight?
Actor: I have one, but it doesn't light up.

And then I have a bunch of other ones on the thread in the Off Topic forum.

Teacher: "Why is rhythm important?"
Student: "So we don't sound horrible?"

"It's the zombie choir!"

Char 1: "You guys are going to choir Hell."
Char 2: "Choir chocolate Hell."

"It's like the underwater lobster choir."

"I eat nuns for breakfast."

"Nunios!" (like Cheerios)

Teacher: "Did your mother pack hash brownies?"

Student: "Why do you play this everytime I'm in the room?" ("My Heart Will Go On")
Teacher: "Because you remind me of a sinking ship."

"Now I've got a big bouncing lobster in my way."

"Lobster, you're turning lobster, Lobster!"

Student: "When I was little, my goal was to turn into a big blueberry."
Teacher: Congratulations.

"And this is where we get Caucasians."

"And they're like, 'Oh good, Samantha's coming in today. We like her, she knows about Jesus!'"

"If a bow turned into a crab, that's what it would look like."

"I'm completely useless as a teenage girl."

Teacher: "Money talks. Like at the end of the year, when you're wanting better grades."

"Do I really what? Accept bribes? Absolutely."

"We really don't want to know about your grandfather's private parts."

"Oh, those French people and their nuclear waste."

"Who's casting devious stares at my erection?"

I keep finding more!

"Someone called me sour, so I decided I was a Sour Patch Kid. Then I thought, 'Wait, if I was a Sour Patch Kid, I would try to eat myself.'"

"Whatever happened to abuse in school?"

"If you wander off, I will firmly, yet lovingly, smack you in the head with roofing timber."

"Erick, let the Goo Goo Dolls go!"

"I'm glad the art of knocking someone up just got compared to Star Wars."

Teacher: "A husband and wife are in bed, having fun. Maybe they're in their car, who knows."

Teacher: "How long does the embryo stage last?"
Student: "Something like 27 years."

Teacher: "We'll get to it later, when we start doing drugs and stuff."

"I don't refer to her as a sibling. She's more of a she-devil."

Person 1: "So I've been thinking of starting to play World of Warcraft."
Person 2: "I'm so sorry for you..."

1. "She looks like she's packing potatoes everywhere."

2. "Blue hair is when you're 80."erheard Dialogue- unnecessary, unwanted, and funny as heck!

3. "They're like bananas, they come in bunches."

4. "When I shake someone's hand and say goodbye, I'm half way out the door while doing it."

5. Person A, talking about knitting in cars: "Don't you ever miss a stitch?"
Person B: "Never."
B's Husband: "Yes."
B: "No. I don't."
B's Husband: "Yes. Buy her a skein and it'll last the whole trip. She knits thorough Michigan, get to Indiana and she tears it all out."

haha. Darn subject line, I didn't realize I'd messed that up. #2, is just "Blue hair is in when you're 80."

Oh darn. Just found some more:

1. I was just picking up the polka dots.

2. I know you probably think I'm going fruit loops...

3. They ran out of the scuzz buzz, it was actually kinda quiet.

person 1: Do you smell that?
Person 2: yeah it smells like deep dish pizza with green peppers
Person 1: no I meant do you smell fear?
Person 2: is that a new cologne?
person 1: ugh no stupid never mind.

person 1: when you're done peeing in the cup please put it in this bag *hands over a party bag*
Person 2: look it's a birthday bag!
person 3: haha awesome. We're having a party and urine-vited. *cracks up*

girl 1: so why are we acting like guys?
girl 2. because if we dont we'll get our ass beat by the rest of dude paint ballers
girl 1: oh thats a good idea. we should work on our manly voices *girl 2 nods*
girl 2: yo what color paint balls you want
girl 1: PURPLE!!!!
girl 2: dude that's kinda gay.

is your mom a homobreeder?

girl 1: Cat scratched the beaver!
girl 2: I'm pretty sure that's not how the song goes...

what a jerk. we should go take turns crapping on his porch

Okay... right after I posted earlier, this came blurting out of my mouth before I even thought.

"The concept of drinking confuses me."

The best bit? I was thiking about drinking water, not anything else, and i'm wide awake, not on any meds and have not touched anything that would alter my brain waves. I did of course have to prove to myself afterwards that drinking a glass of water would not drown me, but thats incredibly hard when your flatmate suddenly says "Don't giggle!" after you've taken a huge gulp. It results either in a really sore throat or a spit-take. Or both. Followed by a half hour of laughing hysterically without being able to stand up.

"Why do I need History?"
"For moments like these when your kids ask you why you need History."

"I'm not going to have kids."
"Why not? Oh, right, because we're going to die young! Oh my God, that's so sad! We'll never get to travel."

"One day when we had a sub, there was an IOC that came into the building. Well, she didn't know what to do so everyone was freaking out. And then everyone else hid over by or in their lockers except us because we were fighting about something. And then the IOC came up and shot us through the window. And then he just left the rest of the class alone!"
"That's real nice."

My friend said this to me about this girl who's clingy, needy, stalker-ish, lacks social skills.

"I don't even know what it is... She's like superglue. You get a little on your finger and it's all over."

Use it to whatever context. ;D

unemployed man: "job is a four letter word, the second 'b' is silent"

"It's not stupid. It's actually beautiful." -teacher talking about something in Algebra.

"So I go out to my car and it's covered in balloons and he's standing there with a big sign that says 'Will you go to homecoming with me?' And the only thing I can think is, 'How do I say no to that?'"

A little girl, telling her grandma, as they are walking over to the girl's mother: Guess what Daddy won in the raffle?
Grandma: What?
Little girl: Fifty-thousand dollars!
Grandma: Fifty-thousand dollars?!
Little girl: Uh-huh! Didn't he, Mummy?
Mother (not looking up from her paper): One-hundred and fiftty.
Grandma: My! One hundred and fifty! What's he going to spend that on?

"So what if I enjoy looking up the mating rituals of fish...?"

"Dude, I dare you to snort these leftover Cheetos crumbs."
"I'll do it! [snort] ...that...was not smart."

"Estevan, fetch me my eight-track tapes, I wish to reminisce."

"Animal House is, like, the best movie of the eighties!"
"Animal House was released in the seventies, man."
"What? But Bill Murray didn't get popular until the eighties!"
"Bill Murray wasn't in "Animal House, man."

"Everyone, pick a hat. It's fun. We promise you won't get lice."

"The radiator is hungry for human souls. We must make a sacrifice!" - overheard in a math class.

Two groups of teens talking at the same time, same place...

Group 1 talk about: Communism. Anarchy. Religion.

Group 2 talk about: OMG dead cat. Crap-on-a-stick.

"No really, she was bugging the crap out of me, so I headbutted her."

Or it was something to that affect, overheard in my geometry class. Some kid headbutted his girlfriend (or just this girl)

"Those damned crickets!"

Also, "Sometimes, I would like to take a squirt gun and fill it with Clorox, and go after those crickets..."